Walk With Me?
by windchymes
Summary: Bella makes a decision she believes is for the best, but it seems the universe doesn't agree.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**This story has been nudging me for a while. It's not long, four chapters or so. I hope you enjoy.**

**-ooo-**

_Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see he thinks we've lost our souls."_

_The lightbulb flicked on over my head._

_"__That's the real problem, isn't it?" I guessed. "That's why he's being so difficult about me."_

_Carlisle spoke slowly. "I look at my…son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of him - and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"_

_I nodded in fervent agreement._

_"__But if I believed as he does…" He looked down at me with unfathomable eyes. "If you believed as he did. Could you take away his soul?"_

-0-

The conversation with Carlisle played over and over in my head while Edward drove me home. The words sinking in, taking root, and making me think. Really think.

Normally Edward and I would be holding hands over the console, but not tonight. Instead my arm was bandaged, laying still and heavy in my lap. My new stereo sat in the dashboard, its dial turned to off. Silence covered us like a blanket, it was almost suffocating. Edward's mood was as dark as the night.

I wanted to tell him that what happened tonight was my fault, that I should have been more careful; I wanted to say that everything would be okay and I've had worse, this little scratch was nothing. But something stopped me. Carlisle's words kept repeating, and now they brought new thoughts with them. Unwelcome thoughts. I pushed them away as I slowly realised tonight was more than a stumble and a cut hand, and the truth was, I didn't know what to say or do next.

Maybe I was in shock.

I stared straight ahead. The headlights showcased every bump in the road, and the blacktop glistened from an earlier shower of rain. Insects flew past the beams of silvery light. Lots of little, normal things that somehow stood out more than usual.

I turned to Edward, studying him as he stared out the windscreen, and for probably the first time ever, I looked past the breathtaking, heart-stopping beauty, past my desires and wants, to the man beyond. And suddenly, it was like another light bulb had switched on and I could see the depth of his anguish. It was in the set of his jaw, the tightness around his eyes. It was in the way he clutched the steering wheel until his pale knuckles strained and turned whiter.

I could see what tonight had done to him. I could _feel _it. His pain was overwhelming. So was his fear.

"I'm so sorry," he said, turning to me. His face was smooth now, a mask in place for my benefit. Or perhaps his. "This should never have happened."

"It's…" I almost said fine, just on reflex, because it was what I always said. But to tell him that would be to dismiss his pain. And things were so obviously not fine, it would be an insult to his intelligence. And mine. "It doesn't hurt," I mumbled instead.

"Anaesthetic," Edward murmured. "You'll feel it in a couple of hours." He winced slightly and turned the car off the freeway, towards Charlie's house. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to clear my mind. Trying to keep the thoughts at bay, but Carlisle's words kept nudging me.

"You're very quiet," Edward said after a while, his own voice barely above a whisper. "Are you sure you're not hurting?"

I _was_ hurting, but not the way he meant.

"I expected…" He stopped and shook his head, turning back to face the road. "I thought you'd be trying to tell me it's all fine, and how this was all your fault because you're human. I was expecting demands to change you, so nothing like this would ever happen again."

I would have expected that from me too. I thought I might have been as surprised as Edward.

"How's Jasper?" I asked instead.

"Upset. Angry with himself, of course. He's hunting right now, but tomorrow he and Alice will go away to Denali for a while."

My mind replayed that moment when I looked up from my bleeding arm and into the fevered eyes of six suddenly ravenous vampires. Then Jasper's teeth snapping just inches from my face as he struggled to get to me while his brothers held him back. For a second I relived that sharp spike of fear, the pulse of adrenalin throbbing through me…

"Bella?"

My sobs started coming and a second later Edward had pulled the truck over to the side of the road and pulled me into his lap. His arms were around me, holding me close, tucked under his chin, as he spoke in a choked voice.

"Bella…Bella, I'm so sorry."  
"I…was so…scared." The words spilled out so quickly, I barely knew what I was saying. "It was…so…fast. I didn't…I never thought…"

Edward held me tight until I'd cried myself out. It seemed like only a few minutes, but when I finally sniffed and dried my eyes, the clock in the dashboard said we'd been sitting like that for almost an hour.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked. He pushed back my hair and wiped his thumbs over my cheeks. His shirt was soaked. "I've never seen you cry like that."

"Yeah." I sniffed. "I think I needed that."

"A normal, healthy reaction for once." Edward smiled, a soft, sad sort of smile. I touched his cheek, wishing I could take the pain from his eyes.

"What happens now?" I asked. The words had come without thinking.

"Do you want to go home?" Edward asked.  
"I…I don't think I meant that." My head was spinning. It seemed my mouth had taken control and was acting on its own.

"What did you mean?"

"I…with us. What happens now, with us?"

"Us?" He seemed genuinely surprised. Like me. A new sort of fear rose up inside me, choking my heart. Edward blinked, and pulled his hand through his hair. "I don't know."

"There has to be a way," I said quickly. "Some way we can…" My voice trailed off, because I wasn't sure what I was asking. And now I was truly scared of where this conversation was going.

"A way we can be together without you being at risk?" Edward said.

I nodded. "Yeah."

Edward gave a brittle laugh. "Well, I suppose we could ban all birthday celebrations. Christmas too. Anything involving gift wrap."

"Okay. That's a start."

He gave me an incredulous look. "Are you saying you'd be guided by me in future? Let me make the decisions about what's safe for you and what's not, without arguing?"

I thought for a moment. "Yeah. I think I am. Guided by you on all things vampire, anyway. The non-vampire stuff? Those decisions are mine." It seemed like a good solution, a real way of moving forward.

There was a flicker of something in Edward's eyes, but it was too fast for me to catch. His face quickly became unreadable again. "Lets get you home," he said.

The porch light was on at Charlie's, a welcome beacon in the dark.

"Will you be waiting in my room when I get up there?" I asked as Edward turned off the engine.

"Do you want me to be?"

"Yes, please."

"Then I'll be there." There was a flicker of a smile on his lips. "Wait, I'll come and open your door for you."

Of course Charlie wanted to know what happened but he doesn't question my story of stumbling and falling into the table.

"It was a good thing Carlisle was there," he said. "Tell Esme we'll replace whatever's broken. Now you go get some sleep."

Yeah, sleep. Like that was going to happen.

As I turned the handle of my door I wondered for a moment if Edward would actually be there. I was almost surprised when I saw him, sitting in my rocking chair. He gave me a small smile. "Hi."

"Hi." I smiled back and this almost felt like that first day we sat together in the cafeteria.

I kicked off my shoes, grabbed my standard sleep wear of sweats and t-shirt and headed for the bathroom. When I came back, Edward tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead.

"Do you have Tylenol?"

"Bathroom."

He was gone for two seconds, maybe three, but then he was back with two tablets and a glass of water that he set on the bedside table.

"You'll need them," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at my bandaged arm.

"I'll be okay," I whisper and reach up to touch his cold cheek. "Will you pick me up for school tomorrow?"

"I don't think I can. There are things at home…"

"I get it." And I wasn't surprised. He probably needed time to be with his family. "Wanna come by afterwards?"

He took my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. "Yes," he said. "I want to come by afterwards." His gaze shifted from our fingers to my face. "I'm not sure why you'd want me to, though. You should be running away from me, screaming. I don't know whether you're brave or crazy."

"A bit of both, I think."

He smiled a little but his eyes were weary. So weary. Like he bore not just the weight of this world, but the universe, on his shoulders. It hurt to see.

I opened my arms to him and was relieved when he laid down beside me, and we wrapped ourselves around each other. I wanted to tell him it would be alright, I tried twice to do so, but the words wouldn't come. I

After a while Edward got up, told me I should sleep, and smiled as he kissed me softly.

"So, after school tomorrow? You'll come over?"

"If that's what you want."

He took my hand, and squeezed it softly. Then he was gone.

I watch the window for a long time. "It'll be alright," I said into the darkness. "I promise. We'll find a way together." Then I wondered why I hadn't been able to say those words while Edward was here. Now all those thoughts I'd been holding back were yelling for attention in my head. I couldn't ignore them anymore, so I braced myself, and let them come.

I thought about Edward's soul.

I'd been so selfish.

So very selfish.

All the times I'd begged him to change me. But could I let him live a thousand years believing he'd lost any chance of redeeming that soul, because he'd taken mine? Carlisle was right, it didn't matter if I believed in Edward's soul, if Edward didn't. And for as long as Edward felt that way, I couldn't ask him to change me, I knew that now.

I groaned and rolled over and stared at the dresser. So where did that leave me? Did I accept 80 human years of getting older, being mistaken for his mother, his grandmother. Living my life with only chaste kisses and careful hugs and all the time Edward burned and worried and never relaxed in case he held me too hard, and maybe had to separate himself from his family for my safety?

When I looked at it that way…

But we could work through this. I knew we could. He was my destiny, and we'd find a way. We had to.

Maybe I could ask Carlisle to change me and then my soul wouldn't be on Edward's conscience. But would that strain their relationship? Would Edward hate Carlisle for taking my soul? But he shouldn't. Carlisle had changed others. But they were dying - Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett…all of them pulled back from deaths door.

But I was dying too, in a way – every day I was getting older. And when I died, Edward would be alone.

The realization that Edward would have been better off if he'd never met me, hit me like a wrecking ball.

It knocked the air from me, like a kick in the guts, and I laid gasping in my bed as the only possible way forward became clearer and clearer. Like a stark vision gradually appearing out of a thick mist.

"Oh, God, no…no…please…"

But it wouldn't stop. The soft mist cleared, leaving me with a hard-edged reality. I started to sob, and didn't stop until dawn.

oooooo

Edward knocked on the door at 3.30 the next afternoon. It felt like I was having an out of body experience as I turned the handle and stepped out onto the porch. Edward leant in and kissed my cheek, his hand resting gently on my back.

"How are you feeling today?"

"A bit sore. But better."

"You didn't go to school? The truck hasn't moved from where I parked it last night."

"Um, no. I thought I should stay home and rest." I looked past him to the street. "Where's your car?"

He pulled a hand through his hair. "I've been running," he said. "Thinking."

"Oh."

"I've been thinking since I left you last night. About what you said. About finding a way." He smiled and glanced towards the house, waiting for me to invite him in. Instead I held out my hand.

"Walk with me, Edward?"

His smile faded. Confusion flashed across his face but was quickly gone. He nodded and linked his fingers with mine.

We walked beyond the house, to where a finger of forest encroached on Charlie's back yard. A little further on was a fallen log and a clearing and it was there that I stopped. I forced myself to let go of Edward's hand, and shoved my own in my pockets.

I wondered if I'd be able to get the words out. Would I actually be able to do this? It seemed impossible. Almost blasphemous. My head span and I sucked in a sharp breath.

"Bella?" he said, so quietly. "What's happening?"

I couldn't do it. There was no way. But then I forced myself to remember that look in Edward's eyes last night.

"Your heart sounds like it's about to crash out of your chest."

"I…I'm leaving."

The voice sounded like mine, but I didn't realise I'd said the words. I hadn't felt them leave my lips. I was outside myself, watching and listening, and none of this was real. But it was.

The world telescoped down to the few square feet between Edward and me. There was nothing outside the small clearing. My eyes burned, my fists clenched in my pockets and I didn't know how I was going to get through this. Not with my heart in one piece. Not with my soul.

"I don't understand." The sound of his voice brought me back to myself, and nearly broke me.

A cold, airless panic gripped me and I shut my eyes. I could stop this now. I could wrap my arms around him and say lets go inside and watch a movie and snuggle on the sofa. But that wouldn't solve anything.

I reminded myself again why I was doing this.

I thought of Edward's soul.

"I've been thinking too. A lot." My throat felt like it was closing over and I swallowed hard. "And I think…I'm going to Jacksonville. To my Mom."

Edward shifted. He sank his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "You need a break?"

"No. Not a break. I'm leaving and…I'm not coming back."

Understanding dawned across his face, there was a flash of something in his eyes, but then it was gone. "I see," he said. His eyes were suddenly empty, his face a smooth mask – the shutters had come down. "Are you doing this because you think it's what I want?"

My nails dug into my palms and somehow the pain kept me focused. I dug harder.

"No. It's what_ I_ want. You've been right all along. There's no place for me in your world, last night proved that to me."

He gave a quick, sharp nod of his head. "I should be glad you've come to your senses, but this is quite a turnaround from last night when you were talking about finding a way to make things work."

"I know, I know, but…" It was like he could see right through me, see the lie, and I could feel my resolve fading fast. I had to end this now, and I knew how to do it. I bit the inside of my cheek hard as I steeled myself. "We don't belong together, Edward. You…you're not good for me."

He didn't react. Didn't move. Except for the faintest flicker of his eye. I didn't know how I was still standing. Inside I was curled in a heap on the ground, sobbing his name.

"I know that sounds harsh, but…"

"No, not at all," he said quickly. "You're right. And this is what I've always wanted for you."

I dropped my eyes. I couldn't look at him anymore.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Tonight. Charlie's driving me to the airport at Port Angeles in an hour."

"An hour." There was the faintest break in his voice, and it was like a thousand hot knives in my heart. "How did he take the news?"

I shrugged, still staring down. I'd told Charlie this morning that I was breaking up with Edward and that meant I wouldn't be able to stay in Forks. I thought he'd try to convince me otherwise, but I got the feeling he thought better of it. I could only imagine what my face must have looked like when I told him.

"He was surprised," I said. "But I've let him know this is all me, not you." I forced myself to look up. Edward was statue still. Face like stone. "I'm so sorry, Edward." He waved his hand, dismissing my words.

"I've told you before," he said. "This is what I wanted for you."

"But I want you to know, I regret nothing," I said quickly, almost frantic for him to know that. "Not one second. And I'll always remember. The time we've had will always be so, so special to me." I wondered if he believed me.

He nodded and looked away, into the trees. "Me too," he whispered.

I was on the verge of breaking down and telling him the truth.

"I have to go now, but first I want you to promise me something."

His gaze, flat and empty, came back to me. My voice shook as I spoke, and now my words were like a plea. It was so important that he understood this next part.

"You have to move on and live your life. You have a beautiful heart, Edward, and a lot of love to give. Please don't close yourself off. If you have the chance to share that love again, with someone who's right for you_, do it_. You deserve to be loved. Please, let yourself be." I stepped forward and touched his cheek. His skin seemed colder than usual, but I savoured this last touch, burning the feel of him into my memory. "Promise me."

His reserve cracked. His lips parted and the sudden, fleeting flare of emotion in his eyes knocked the breath from me. "Bella…" he whispered.

I clenched my teeth. "Promise me. Do this last thing for me."

He closed his eyes and nodded. "I promise." He turned his face, his lips almost grazing my palm, but not quite.

"And I'll make you a promise too," I said quickly, dropping my hand and stepping back before I buckled. "I'll take care of myself, and I'll make sure I live that long life you've always wanted for me. I'll do that for you."

His mask was back in place, and he nodded again.

Now I had to get away quickly before the tears started because I knew that once they did, I'd be a mess on the forest floor, Edward would know the truth, and this would all be for nothing. I turned and walked away, back towards Charlie's house. As I stepped over the fallen log, over the pieces of my shattered, lifeless heart, Edward's voice came to me, like a whisper on the breeze…

"Bella…"

And that was all it took. I turned round, ready to run back into his arms, but Edward had already gone.

**A/N: Opening paragraph is from "New Moon" copyright Stephenie Meyer.**

**Next chapter should be up next week ****J**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**-o0o-**

I was too late.

I stared at the empty space where Edward had stood just a few seconds ago, and though I knew it when my legs buckled, I didn't feel myself hit the ground. I knelt there, focused on that small square of forest. My eyes searched desperately for his footprints in the dirt, some small thing to hang on to, but there were none. It was like he'd never been there.

I thought I was going to be sick.

What had I done?

_You hurt him,_ said a voice in my head. _That's what you've done. You lied to him, you hurt him, and you sent him away._

"No!" I cried out. "No, I saved him! I saved him!"

Again, I forced myself to remember why I'd let Edward go, remembered his pain and his soul. I told myself once more that this was for the best. For him.

But my gaze stayed on the place where he'd been, as though I could will him to appear again, just one last time. But that wasn't going to happen. I was never going to see Edward Cullen again.

A single tear spilled onto my cheek.

I'd told him I didn't want him anymore, and he'd believed me.

But how could he have accepted my lie so easily? Why hadn't he fought for me?

Because he never thought himself worthy of love, that's why.

He'd always said that one day there'd be something that would send me running and screaming.

He'd told me that my feelings were human; a fickle first love that I'd get over one day.

From day one, he'd expected me to leave him. He had never believed I could love him as powerfully as I did.

So many insecurities.

And today I'd played on them.

Every single one.

And Edward had thought _he _was the monster.

He had nothing on me.

There was a rustling sound from the trees and I turned sharply to the left, pivoting on my knees and almost tumbling over. "Edward?" I scrambled to my feet, scuffing around in the dead leaves, and moved towards the sound. "Edward?" Maybe he'd come back. Or maybe he'd never left. Maybe he was going to grab me in his arms and tell me he'd never let me go.

But it wasn't Edward. A racoon scampered out from the trees. It stopped for a second to watch me, and then hurried away across the clearing. I knew then that Edward really was gone. Animals didn't hang around when a vampire was nearby.

It really was over.

I felt strangely numb. My heart was beating, but it meant nothing. I couldn't cry anymore, and I couldn't feel, and I wondered how I was going to get through this. How I'd get through the next day. Even the next minute. Let alone the rest of my life.

What had I done?

_You saved him_, said a new voice in my head. _You set him free. _A sudden resolve stole over me. From nowhere, a strength I'd never known, took hold. I was doing this for Edward. Without me, he was free to spend eternity without fear and worry and guilt.

That was what mattered now.

I turned and walked back to the house on shaky legs.

The phone was ringing as I came through the back door, and then the answering machine kicked in.

"Bella?" Alice's worried voice came through the speaker. "What's happening? Edward's not answering his phone, and why am I seeing a vision of you graduating high school in Florida?"

So I made it to graduation then. I supposed that was something.

"Bella? Pick-up. What's happening?"

I didn't pick up. If I was going to see this through, then it needed to be a clean break. It was a good thing Alice's visions only showed the result of a decision, and not the lie behind it.

The machine clicked off and I hit the erase button. But I knew Alice wouldn't give up. She'd be re-dialling right now. So I picked up the phone and dialed her number, knowing our calls would cross, and I'd get her voicemail while she got mine.

I spoke six words. "Look after him for me. Please." Then I hung up. The message light was already blinking and I hit erase once more, as Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway.

The phone didn't ring again.

Alice had got the message.

The front door opened a second later and Charlie walked in. "You ready, Bells," he said gruffly. "You got everything? If we're going to do this, we gotta get going now."

I nodded, experiencing that same out-of-body feeling I'd had earlier in the clearing. "Yeah. I'm ready." My bags were by the door, all packed. "There are some things upstairs that need to be returned." I'd seen the pile of unopened birthday gifts stacked neatly on my desk when I'd got up this morning. Edward must have brought them in last night when he'd come up to my room. "Maybe you could leave them at the hospital for Carlisle to take home." I took my coat from the hallstand and shrugged into it.

Charlie nodded. "I can do that."

"There's the new stereo in my truck, too. That should go back to Emmett. Oh, but it's already been installed, how can you..."

"I can get a stereo out of a dashboard, Bella," Charlie said.

"Okay. Thanks."

This seemed so cold. It was like I was talking about somebody else's life. Making arrangements for some stranger who was going away.

Charlie gathered my bags and we walked out to the cruiser. I pulled the door shut behind me and didn't look back.

"I spoke to your mom today," Charlie said as he started the engine. "She's all ready for you, already booked you into the local school. You're starting next week."

"It's not like her to be so organized."

"Well, you live long enough, you'll see everything. She said Phil knows a guy with a car dealership, and he'll keep a look-out for something for you. If you sell your truck you can put the money towards that. You happy for me to do that? Sell it?"

My truck. I loved my truck. But it probably wouldn't make the trip across country.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea, I guess."

An awkward silence fell. Charlie rubbed his hand over his face and I realized Edward wasn't the only one I was hurting.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

He shook his head. "You're old enough now to make your own decisions," he said. "And if you can't be happy here anymore, then…" He sighed. "But I'm gonna miss you, Bells."

My throat thickened. My eyes began to burn. "I'll miss you too," I whispered.

He changed down a gear as we took the turn onto the highway. The sign telling me I was now leaving Forks flashed by.

"But you're sure this is the right thing? It just seems kind of fast."

"I know it's fast, but I'm sure, Dad. I've never been more sure of anything." There was truth in my words, and resolve in my voice.

"Alright, then," he said, changing gears. "Lets get you to Jacksonville."

-0-

**_In the woods near the Canadian border - Edward's point of view…_**

This was what he'd wanted for her. A long, happy human life, away from him and the dangers of his kind.

She'd made the right decision.

It was what he'd wanted.

So why did it hurt so much?

Edward was burning. The pain ripped through him, incinerating him as he ran.

She'd left him.

Bella had left him.

His feet stumbled, but he kept going, tearing up the earth as he flew through the trees. He didn't know why he was running, but he was scared of what he might do if he didn't.

He hadn't understood, at first, when she'd said she was leaving. His lightning-fast brain failed to grasp what she meant. Then her meaning became all too clear and all the light and air had been sucked from his world as he'd stood there and listened to her. A heavy emptiness had crept over him slowly, so by the time she'd turned away, he was a shell, and felt as dead as he was.

There had been a moment when he'd thought he'd seen a lie in her eyes, but her words had spoken a truth he'd always known, and couldn't deny…

_We don't belong together. You're not good for me._

No, they didn't belong together. And he wasn't good for her. He'd told her that from the start. But still, over the months, his love had grown and become part of him. _She _had become part of him, and he'd treasured every touch, every kiss and smile, as a gift. And he'd fooled himself into believing they might possibly have a future.

He should be glad she had come to her senses.

His phone rang again. It had started back in Forks, as he'd torn his way north through the woods. It had fallen silent for a while, but now Alice's ring tone sounded once more. He ignored it.

Edward burst free of the woods, crashing through the treeline, onto a cliff overlooking the coast. The ocean raged below. He didn't miss a beat as he charged forward and hurled himself over the edge, falling hundreds of feet into the foaming tumult below.

He gave himself up to the waves. Let them roll and crash him against the rocks, turning him over and over and over until he wasn't sure which way was up. When finally the waves dumped him on the shallow, pebbled beach, he lay gasping and looking up at the moon.

He wondered if he'd ever find the incentive to move again. Perhaps he'd just stay here, staring at the sky, flat on his back, for the next thousand years. It seemed as good a prospect as any, right now.

Edward wasn't surprised at Bella's decision. Not really. Every day since he'd kissed her in the meadow, her leaving had been at the back of his mind. In the beginning it was something he'd wished for, so she'd be safe. But now that she _had_…

It started to rain, but Edward barely noticed. What he did notice, were the thoughts of some fisherman in a boat about half a mile away. If they saw him lying like this, out in the open in the moonlight, he'd draw attention. So it looked like he'd be moving, after all. He sat up and inched his way backwards until his back was pressed against the cliff, blending into the rock. He drew up his knees, hugging them to his chest as the rain ran down his face.

He only had himself to blame. He should never have got close to her. Never touched her. It had been wrong of him, he'd known that. But she was so beautiful. And he'd been weak. He'd let his newfound heart rule his head, disregarding what was best for her. Now Bella had made the decision_ he_ should have made back in March.

He rubbed at his chest, trying to ease the pain that lanced through him. So this was a broken heart. This was what countless songs were written about. How did anyone ever get over this, he wondered? _He_ wouldn't get over it, he knew that much. His heart would be hers until time ceased. He hugged his knees tighter. The rain flowed down the back of his neck.

She was going to live a long and happy human life, just like he'd wanted for her. She'd have children, and grandchildren, and live in the sun and keep her parents in her life – all the things he couldn't give her. And because Edward loved her so much, he found a sort of comfort in this.

So he would let her go. He'd give her what she wanted, what she needed, and he'd take strength from that. At last, he would be doing the right thing by her. And he'd honour his promise he'd made her, as best he could, to live his life, though it would only be a half-life now. But he couldn't keep everything he promised. There would be no-one else, he knew that. Instead he would hold these past six months sacred, and live off them for the rest of his days.

Overhead, thunder crashed and lightning streaked across the sky. The rain pelted down hard. Edward lowered his head, pressed his forehead to his knees, and for the first time in a hundred years, he cried.

-0-

**_Jacksonville – Bella's point of view…_**

I'd missed the sun.

Lying on the lounger on Renee's back deck, I let it soak into my limbs, hoping it would warm me down to my bones and take away that cold feeling that was always with me these days.

On the lounger beside me, Renee was talking about taking a trip to some markets on the weekend.

"You'll love it, honey. It's worth the two hour drive and they have all sorts of amazing things. Clothes, antiques, handcrafts. There are these cool pictures made with coloured sand stuck between two pieces of glass. We could find some things for your room, make it more personal. Oh and there's a fantastic café on the way there, overlooking the water and they have a guy who plays guitar and sings. We could make a day of it, what do you say?" She reached out and gently stroked my hair. "You haven't been out of the house except for school since you arrived."

My first reaction was to say no, thanks. But I could see the disappointment and concern already registering in Renee's eyes as I hesitated. She was worried about me, I knew that. She hated the hollows beneath my eyes and I'd overheard her telling Phil I seemed so distant and cut off. I didn't want to worry her anymore, so I smiled.

"Sure," I said. After all, I'd promised Edward I'd live my life, I might as well start by going to some markets, and make my mom happy at the same time. "Why not."

Renee's face lit up. "I'm so glad. We'll have so much fun, Bella, a real girl's day out. Oh, that sounds like the phone."

She clambered off the lounger and hurried into the house.

It had been almost a month since Renee had greeted me at the airport with hugs and sympathy, told me that heartbreak happened to us all and that the universe probably had something better in store for me.

I doubted that.

"And you know the old saying, honey," she'd continued as we'd waited at the baggage claim. "About loving something and setting it free, and if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be."

She'd recited it each morning for me the first three days I was here. On the fourth day I'd asked her politely to never say it again. So far she hadn't. But I'd noticed a poster with the saying on it had appeared on the back of the kitchen door.

I picked up my geography book again and had another attempt at reading the chapter on the icy tundras of Russia. School in Jacksonville was pretty much like school anywhere else and I went through the motions every day, smiling and talking. Nobody paid me too much attention and I was glad of that.

I was glad too, that I'd never visited Jacksonville before. There were no reminders of Edward, nothing to link him here. But I thought about him constantly. He was with me every day in that permanent ache in my chest. He came to me in my dreams.

But my eyes stayed dry and my resolve that what I'd done was right, never wavered. And it was that same resolve that kept me going.

I never asked Charlie about the birthday presents; whether he and Carlisle talked at all. The couple of times I'd talked to my dad, we kept things general. No mention was made of the Cullens.

But Edward had left Forks, I knew that much.

I'd been surprised when Jessica Stanley called me just three days after I'd arrived in Florida, wanting to know if it was true that Edward and I had faked a dramatic break-up so we could secretly run away together. "He left just a day after you. Just him, on his own. Emmett says he's gone back to family in Alaska, but, you know, you can tell me the truth, Bella." Of course, the truth I told her wasn't the truth she wanted. "You really broke up? Wow, never saw that coming."

Neither had I.

And ever since I'd been wondering where Edward was and what he was doing. Had he really gone to Alaska? Or was that a cover story? I hoped he was someplace he liked, doing something he enjoyed.

"Bella, it's Phil!" Renee's voice called from the kitchen. "He thinks he's found you a car." I put down my book and headed into the house. "How much did Charlie get for your truck?" she asked.

"Ten thousand."

"She's got ten thousand, Phil," Renee said into the phone.

That had been another surprise. The truck had sold quickly, to a guy passing through town who'd seen the For Sale sign in its window. According to Charlie, he'd been a collector who thought my old red beast was something of a rarity and was happy to pay up big. My bank account had never been so full.

"Oh!" Renee squealed, and then started laughing. "Okay, I'll tell her." She was beaming as she hung up the phone.

"What's happening?"

"It's a Hummer," she said, like this was the best piece of news in the world. "Practically brand new."

"A Hummer?"

"You know, they're kind of like little tanks."

"I know what they are, but they cost more than ten thousand dollars, Mom."

Renee shook her head. "Not this one. It's some sort of weird divorce settlement thingy. Husband skipped out, told his wife to sell the car and send him the money, so she's doing just that." Renee was still giggling.

"I don't get it."

"She's selling it for _one hundred dollars_! A revenge sale."

My eyes popped open wide. "Are you serious?"

"Uh huh." She nodded vehemently and looked like one of those bobble-head dogs on a car dashboard. "Isn't that fabulous? Phil's buddy Mitch thought of you as soon as the woman brought it into the dealership. He says it still has that new car smell."

"Wow. That's…wow…"  
"I know. See?" She put her arm around my shoulder and squeezed me tight. "Good things are starting to happen now. The universe is looking after you, honey."

Phil drove the car home that night. Shiny and black, with silver bumpers that almost sparkled, it sat in the driveway and I couldn't believe it was mine.

"Oh my gosh, it's huge."

"Fully optioned," Phil said. "Every extra and accessory. Reinforced panels. You could fire a missile into this thing and not feel it. "

I climbed in slowly, feeling the leather of the seats, still not quite believing my good fortune. Renee was all over it, inspecting every inch, opening every flap and compartment.

"It has a sunroof," she said. "And GPS, so you'll never get lost, that's good. Hey, lets drive this to the markets next weekend!" She turned the radio on. "Listen to that sound. Those speakers must have cost a fortune." I turned the dial to off as she pulled the log book from the glove box and flicked through. "That's funny," she said.

"What?"

"I know Mitch said it was _practically _brand new, but it's only got a few miles on it." She looked at Phil. "This has barely been driven. That doesn't make sense. Why would you sell a brand new car? Why wouldn't he have just kept it?"

Phil shrugged. "Probably needed the money," he said.

"Well, he missed out there, didn't he. Hey, the log book is basically empty," Renee went on, looking through more of the pages. "Just the mileage, and that it had a full safety check just a couple of weeks ago. There's not even the previous owner's name."

"Mitch has all that paperwork," Phil said. "I've seen it, it's all good. All legit."

A piece of white card fell out of the log book onto the floor and I picked it up. It was blank on one side, but on the other was a neat, very detailed ink sketch of two different flowers. In the corner of my mind, a suspicion flickered. My heart skipped. "Phil, do you know what the name was on the paperwork?"

He scratched his chin. "Jones. Johns, maybe. Something like that."

Not one of the Cullen aliases that I knew of. I ran my finger over the sketch. "It's pretty," Renee said. "Someone has been in it, then. So Bella, do you wanna take a ride, honey?" She was smiling eagerly but my return smile was a bit shaky.

"In a little bit. I just want to do something. You keep looking, I'll be back."

I hurried into the house and switched on my laptop. I didn't recognize the flowers, but they had been drawn so clearly and precisely they weren't hard to identify with a quick search.

"Snowdrops. And sweet pea."

I opened a new tab and found a site about the unspoken language and meaning of flowers. I scrolled until I found the section for S.

"Snow drop," I mumbled, reading from the screen. "For hope and new beginnings."

I moved down a little further and my heart clenched.

"Sweet pea. For goodbye."

I knew for certain then where the car had come from. I understood the card that had been hidden in the log book. Edward was letting go. We were both on our way to new beginnings.

He'd done this last thing for me.

And he was saying goodbye.

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I held the little white card in my hand, and somewhere in amongst my sorrow, was a spark of hope for Edward, that he'd be happy again. "I'll always love you," I whispered. "Always."

"Bella!" Renee's voice came through the window. "Bella? Honey, are you ready to go for that drive now?" I took a couple of sharp, gulping breaths, and wiped my face on my arm. Then I placed the card safely under my pillow, took another breath, and went to find her.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm ready. Lets go."

-0-

**A/N: Stay with me, okay? I'm going somewhere with this (smiley face)**

**The response to chapter one was amazing. Thank you all sooo much, I'm completely gobsmacked and couldn't believe the way my inbox filled with all your reactions. I'm trying to work through the reviews, if I haven't got to yours yet, please know I read and appreciate each one very much.**

**Next chapter: as soon as I can get it up. Probably about a week or so. This story is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.**

**Cheers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**-ooo0ooo-**

My days fell into a routine of school, home, and a part-time job behind the counter at Harry's House of Hash Browns. September became October. Christmas came and went. New Year I watched fireworks over the water with friends from school, Tara and Brian. They were both late transfers, like me, and the three of us had bonded over being the new kids.

I drove my Hummer. I studied hard. I kept my little white card tucked away safe in my dresser drawer and sometimes I'd take it out, and trace the flowers he'd drawn, feeling the faint bumps and indentations he'd made.

But it wasn't all school and work. Renee took me to her Tai Chi classes. Tara and I did a Tibetan cooking course. I joined a book-club.

I spent a lot of time in the sun.

I re-decorated my room, shabby chic, with things Renee and I had bought at markets and I began to really feel at home. We visited lots of markets. It became our thing and I looked forward to Sundays with her, travelling near and far, picking up treasures at bargain prices. One Sunday I bought a second-hand guitar. On impulse. Because it was there. Or maybe because it came with a free "Teach Yourself" book and suddenly it all seemed like a good idea. This would be something just for me. Something new, with no link to the past. I spent a lot of spare moments picking out chords. By Valentine's Day I could play _Smoke on the Water_ well enough that Tara and Brian didn't laugh anymore and even my unmusical mother could recognise what it was.

The ache in my heart never went away, though I seemed to gradually harden myself around it. There was no more word from Edward Cullen. No mysterious signs or secret messages. He was gone. But I thought of him every day. He was a part of me and always would be, though I'd begun to think of other things too. New things. Like college and careers and the future. I was living my life, the way he'd wanted me to, and I imagined him doing the same. The little white card gave me hope that he was.

In June I graduated, just like Alice had seen. Charlie was beaming and Renee cried as I accepted my diploma and for the first time in, _ever,_ I saw my dad hug my mom.

In July, I went to New York for a week with Brian and Tara. A sort of last hurrah before we went our separate ways and our friendship became a virtual one, shared through smart phones and tablets. We explored and discovered and did the tourist things, and one evening, after a day at the Guggenheim, we found ourselves in a small club in Greenwich Village that Brian had heard about.

The place was crowded, not normally my scene, but I was caught by the music right away. The band was incredible; three guys playing with an energy that swept me up and pulsed through me as soon as I walked through the door. There were small tables scattered here and there along the bare brick walls, but most people were crowded into the small space in front of the low stage, dancing.

"What do you think?" Brian shouted over the music as he draped his arms around our shoulders.

"Great!"

"Fantastic!"

Brian nodded. "See? I told you this was a good idea." He nudged me playfully, but then his attention was taken by a gorgeous girl who shimmied past and he quickly shimmied after her. Tara rolled her eyes and I laughed.

"He's hopeless," she said. "And seriously punching above his weight with her, I think, but come on, lets dance."

"I don't dance…"

She wasn't listening, but pulled me deeper into the crowd and suddenly I found myself thinking…why not?

We bounced around in the crush of other dancing people, laughing, singing along where we could, and I was kind of surprised at how I was losing myself in the atmosphere. But I didn't stop to analyse. Instead I just went with it, and had a ball.

It was a shock when I felt a hand on the small of my back. I jumped, and turned, and a guy with blond dreadlocks was grinning down at me.

"Hey, you look thirsty. Can I buy you a drink?"  
I held up my wrist with its lime green paper band. "Not 21, but thanks anyway." I turned away, hoping he'd get the message and leave me alone. He did. He disappeared into the crowd, swallowed up by the heaving mass of humanity. But now that he'd mentioned it, I _was_ thirsty.

"Do you want a water?" I shouted at Tara and pointed to the bar as I mimed drinking. She shook her head and kept dancing, like she was in her own little world, and I pushed and shoved my way towards the bar.

I was standing there, moving a little in time with the music, waiting for my turn to order, when over the music and the noise of the crowd, I heard someone say his name.

"Edward Cullen."

I froze, almost too scared to look around, as my heart leapt into my throat. Had I heard that right? It was a girl who'd spoken, but I hadn't recognised the voice. Then I heard laughter, from the same girl, I thought, and I turned slowly, hardly daring to wonder what I'd find.

It wasn't Edward.

There was no sign of him, but another snippet of conversation got my attention. "…Rochester…my sister's place…" The girl was blonde and pretty and amongst my shock and confusion came a quick, sharp stab of jealousy. She was sitting with two other girls, just a few feet away at one of the tables and I tuned out the rest of the world, and tuned into them. Unfortunately, I could only get every third or fourth word.

"…stupid garden hose…left ankle…clinic…_gorgeous, like, Greek God gorgeous…_"

I moved closer, and pulled up a chair at the empty table behind theirs. "Twelve stitches…" She pointed at her foot. "…ballet flats…visiting his brother…doctor…"

So Carlisle was his brother now? I wondered if the girl had actually spoken to Edward. Or had she overheard a conversation? Maybe she pumped a gossipy nurse for info. I probably would have. My mind flickered with the memory of that first day in the cafeteria at Forks High, and the way I'd questioned Jessica Stanley.

I wanted to do the same thing now. I wanted to ask this girl how Edward had looked. Had he seemed happy?

I changed chairs so I was sitting right behind her, almost hanging off my seat as I hung off her words. "He rides a motor cycle, this massive silver thing and, my God, he walked into the ER in his leathers and I thought I was going to…" The band ramped things up, the music reaching a crescendo, and the rest of the girl's sentence was drowned out, but a moment later the song dropped down a notch and I could make out her voice again, but only just. "…travelling…tail of the dragon...stevlo pass…" I couldn't be hearing right, because those last parts didn't make any sense.

I thought I had only leant a _little_ closer, but it seemed a little was too far. I fell off my chair.

"Shit!" I scrambled to my feet as the girl turned round quickly, surprise on her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine. Um, I'm always doing things like that." I dusted myself off as she and her friends stood and moved away towards the bar. I wanted to follow, and keep listening, but of course I couldn't – they were already giving me odd looks. And besides, it looked like one of the other girls had taken over the conversation, anyway. Suddenly, it seemed Edward was lost to me all over again.

"You okay, Bella?" Tara was beside me. "You look upset."

"Actually, I don't feel well. I think I might go back to the hotel."

I could see the concern on Tara's face. "I'll come with you. Just let me find Brian."

"No, don't," I said quickly. I just wanted to be alone. "I'll be alright. I'll get a cab." She looked uncertain but I was already moving towards the exit. "I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

"Bella…"

"Don't wake me when you come in, okay?" I faked a grin and then I was out of there.

The night air was humid and as I hit the pavement I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I knew it wasn't only from the weather. I took a big gulp of air as I hailed a cab and climbed inside.

"Times Square, the Edison Hotel, please."

The driver nodded and I settled back in my seat and shut my eyes. My heart was still pounding, my breath felt like fire in my chest and that ache that had dulled over the last eight months was sharp again.

Hearing that girl talk about Edward had been such a shock and I wondered, what were the odds of me overhearing that conversation? How slim was the chance of me being in the right spot at the right time? Or perhaps it was the wrong spot. Renee would say I'd been meant to overhear. She'd say it was the work of the universe, to teach me something. I rubbed at my chest, as if that would ease the hurt.

I missed him so much.

I wondered if he missed me.

"Edison Hotel," the driver said, slowing to a stop. "That'll be nine ninety."

Upstairs in the room, I threw myself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Tears stung at my eyes and I still couldn't quite believe those few moments in the club had actually happened. Just when I thought I was on track, Edward Cullen had come out of nowhere and blindsided me.

I went over what I'd heard, again.

Edward had a motorbike. A massive silver thing.

He'd never said anything about liking bikes. Cars were his thing. Or so I'd thought.

Maybe he did like bikes. Well, obviously.

A small spider crawled across the ceiling as I realised there was actually a lot I didn't know about Edward. I'd been so caught up in _what _he was, that I'd never really found out _who _he was. Sure, we'd played that twenty questions game that first time he drove me home, but apart from that…

Suddenly, my mind was full of things I wanted to know, but wouldn't get to ask now. Like, what was his favourite book? His favourite band? What concerts had he been to? What was the first movie he'd ever seen? Did he have an opinion on global warming? Or the current government?

Did he have a 'most embarrassing moment'?

He used to ask me lots of things, he knew almost everything about me. I hadn't even known his human name until the night of my birthday party.

I sniffed back some tears.

And the Cullens were in Rochester, now. But Edward wasn't, it seemed. The girl had said something about him visiting, and travelling. But I could be wrong, I hadn't been able to catch everything she'd said. Like that stuff about the dragon.

My tablet was on the nightstand and I grabbed it and googled _tail of the dragon_, just to see. The first item that came up was an article about America's most dangerous roads. Number one was the Tail of the Dragon in Tennessee. Three hundred and eighteen curves in just eleven miles.

Then I typed in stevlo pass. Nothing came up under that name, but there was a Stelvio Pass. In Italy. In the photos it looked like someone had scribbled a long, tight zig-zag down a mountain side. The narrow road had 60 sharp hairpin bends.

Edward loved speed. I could imagine him riding those roads, leaning into the curves. He'd probably do it at night, with the headlight off. I smiled as a tear slid down my cheek. I was glad he was having fun. Like he should be. It was what I wanted for him. And I knew he would never have gone off to ride the Stelvio Pass if he'd still been with me.

Maybe that's what the universe wanted me to know. It was telling me I'd done the right thing.

**-o0o-**

**Five months later…**

"Thanks for the ride, Daniel." I yawned as I settled into the Mazda's passenger seat. The pale rays of early morning sun were just beginning to light the Ohio sky. "I really appreciate it."

"Stop thanking me. And it's no problem." Daniel smiled as he started the engine. "Sure you've got everything? Wanna do a last check? Just in case? Because, you know, you've got so much stuff, it'd be easy to miss something."

He chuckled as I rolled my eyes. "Let me see," I said, turning to look in the back seat. I did an exaggerated count on my fingers. "One suitcase, one guitar, yep, that's everything."

"Okay then," he grinned, and switched on the GPS. "Estimated journey time, Columbus to Forks, approximately thirty hours, traffic permitting. Or two days if we stop to sleep." Then he took out his phone and put it in the dock. "Hope you like AC/DC, Bella."

I was going home to Charlie for Christmas. The Hummer would cost me the national debt in gas to drive from Ohio to Forks and back again, so Daniel had kindly offered to drop me off on his way to Seattle for the holidays. I had a plane ticket back to Columbus for after New Year.

I liked Daniel. He was easy-going and he made me laugh and his blue eyes were warm and kind. We shared a psychology class and liked the same coffee shop that was just a short walk from the college campus. If I was going to spend two days in a car with someone, Daniel was at the top of my list. And he did have more than just AC/DC on his phone.

"Will it be a big Christmas?" he asked as we headed into Indiana.

"Nah, just my dad and me and a turkey. But I'll catch up with some friends in La Push, too. What about you?"

"Huge," he said. "Mom, Dad, my brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, fifty seven cousins…"

"Fifty seven? Really, Daniel?" I gave him a sceptical look. He shrugged.

"Fifty seven. Eight. Same thing. You looking forward to going back to Forks?"

"It'll be good to see my dad. Hey, look! Only five miles to the world's largest ball of paint!"

So we stopped and admired the largest paint ball in the world and I took photos and sent them to Renee and Tara and Brian. Daniel bought me a souvenir ball of paint keychain.

"Merry Christmas," he laughed. "Sorry I didn't have time to wrap it."

We shared the driving and made it across three states, and just over the border into South Dakota that first day. To pass the time we played travel games and told jokes and listened to music.

"You ever driven so far across country before?" Daniel asked.

"No."

"What's the furthest you've driven?"

"From Forks to Phoenix," I said quietly, watching the street lights flash by. "But that was a while ago." A lifetime ago, it seemed. I'd been a different person, then.

We grabbed burgers for dinner and then said goodnight and went to our separate rooms in a budget motel. I was exhausted, and I fell into a dreamless sleep as soon as my head hit the floral yellow pillow.

The next day we started out early again, trying to make good time in the heavy Christmas holiday traffic. I drove to give Daniel a break and he took the chance to stick his nose in a book.

"You're studying on vacation?"

"Because I'm failing," he said. "If I don't improve my grades I'll be out on my ear." He yawned. "I'm giving up the football team so I can focus more."

"Wow. That's dedication. You love football."

He scrunched up his face. "But I love psychology more. I don't want anything to get in the way of me hanging up my shingle and being a practicing psychologist one day, you know that."

"Yeah, I know." He said many times that it was all he'd ever wanted. And I admired him for it. I was planning to be a teacher and I was happy and excited about that, but I didn't quite have that same passion for my chosen field that Daniel had for his. I wondered if I'd give up the guitar for teaching? It was a stupid comparison, though. Football involved many hours of commitment and training and travelling to games. I could pick up my guitar any time, for a few minutes here and there. But I loved it so much. My playing had improved and I'd started to sing a bit and even write a few verses of my own. It gave me such incredible peace and pleasure. I often wondered how it had taken me so long to discover music this way. So if someone told me I had to choose between teaching and playing my old beat-up guitar, it would be a hard choice.

"Oops, looks like something's happened up ahead." The heavy Christmas traffic had slowed to a stop and I could see a long snake of red brake lights curving into the distance. We turned AC/DC off and the radio on and learned from the local news bulletin that a truck had skidded and rolled and there was oil all over the road. Detours were in effect. Long detours. Because other roads had been closed due to localised snowfall the night before.

"We can go north or south," Daniel said.

"South would be quicker."

"So we'll go north."

"What? Why?"

"Because everyone will go south. It's the shorter route heading west. Everyone knows that."

"But then they'll all think like you, and go north."

"And they'll think like you, and think everyone will go north, so they'll stick with the south." At that point we started to laugh. "Flip a coin?" he said.

We flipped. Daniel won. We headed north. And it was soon obvious it was going to be a slow journey because it turned out to be nothing but a big bottle-neck. And listening to the traffic report, it wasn't easing up anytime soon.

"Unless…." Daniel was playing around with the GPS. "We take the back roads. Everyone will stick to the main roads in this weather."

"With good reason. If there's snow on the back roads they probably haven't been cleared yet."

"Nah, we'll be good," he said.

"And what if everyone else has had the same idea and they…"

"Nup, not having that conversation again," Daniel chuckled. "I'd rather be moving than sitting still, even if it takes us longer."

The GPS beeped with a new route, and I shook my head and turned off the highway, down a side road, following sign posts to towns I'd never heard of.

But Daniel's plan worked. These roads, though they were taking us well out of our way, were much less clogged of traffic and were luckily pretty clear of snow. It would add at least an extra half day to our trip, I estimated, but at least it felt like we were getting somewhere. Besides, the scenery was really pretty.

When it got dark, we stopped for the night in a small town way up in the north of Montana. There wasn't much there – a few shops, a diner, a motel and an old-style movie theatre. The whole place kind of felt like we'd gone through a time warp, back to the 1940s or 50s, except for the 21st century cars and motor bikes that were parked in the street.

We ordered burgers and sat in the window of the diner, looking out onto the main street. When we'd finished, Daniel went to order a coffee to go. I went and stood outside. After spending all day cooped up in the car, I wanted to stretch my legs and get some fresh air, even if it was freezing.

The movie must have just ended because a few people were coming out of the theatre, rugged up in coats and hurrying off to their cars quickly. No stragglers standing around to discuss the film.

Then the theatre doors opened one more time, and a figure emerged. A figure I recognised instantly.

Edward.

He was pulling on a leather jacket as he walked over to where the two motor bikes were parked against the kerb. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. For a moment I wondered if I was imagining things, and as I watched him walk along the pavement, it was like the world had gone into slow motion.

He was beautiful.

Exactly like I'd remembered, but not nearly like I'd remembered. My memory could never do him justice.

He wore black jeans with the leather jacket. His hair was combed differently, pushed back more from his face so his cheekbones stood out more. I wanted to call out. No, I wanted to run to him, but something kept me in place as I watched him come to a stop in front of one of the motorbikes. A massive silver thing.

I wondered if my heart was beating. It should be, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. Edward leant down and took a helmet from the saddle bag and when he straightened up he looked across the road. Right at me.

Even at this distance, I could see the flash of surprise across his face. Then confusion. Then…nothing. His face was a mask of neutrality. But his gaze held mine, never wavering, and I could _feel _it. If his face showed nothing, his gaze was almost a caress and it was almost like I was in his arms once more. Then he smiled. A small, gentle smile. And suddenly I could feel my heart again. I smiled too. He raised his hand in a wave. I raised mine. I saw the swell of his chest as he took a deep breath. Then he pulled on his helmet, swung his leg over the bike as it rumbled into life, and a second later he was gone.

"You look fascinated by that movie theatre." Daniel's voice came as a shock, breaking me out of a surreal moment where anything else had ceased to exist. Now it was hard to believe that moment had happened.

"Um, I…yeah."

"You want to see the movie?" I could hear concern in his tone and gave myself a quick mental shake.

"No. No, it's fine. I was just getting some fresh air." Snow started to fall and some flakes landed on my cheeks. "I don't even know what's playing." I looked up at the Now Playing sign over the entrance, advertising a season of Christmas Classics.

Edward had been watching _It's A Wonderful Life._

The universe was rubbing things in a little too much, I thought.

-o0o-

**A/N: Stick with me, okay : ) Thank you all so much for reading, and for all the reviews. I can't believe the reaction to this little story, and I appreciate it very much.**

**Next update: next week, hopefully : )**

**For those asking, you can follow me at my blog, suzannecarroll dot com . Or on my Facebook page where I'm Suzanne Carroll, Writer. On Twitter I'm windchymes11**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The ER waiting room was busy with people standing and milling about, but I pushed my way to the triage desk.

"We need a doctor. My student has cut his arm."

Beside me, young Bradley was looking whoozy. The bandage round his arm was rapidly reddening. I wasn't feeling the best either, but I couldn't freak out now. I had to be in charge, here.

"Fill in a form." The admin lady pushed a clipboard towards me. "And a doctor will see you soon."

"He needs a doctor _now_!" I pushed the clipboard back.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Fill in the form, and a doctor will see you soon."

"But he can't…" At that moment Bradley groaned, and then collapsed. Suddenly the admin lady was all business.

"Trolley!" she yelled and pressed a red button on her desk. "Trolley!"

A trolley appeared from nowhere and two men lifted Bradley onto it while a nurse grabbed his uninjured wrist and felt his pulse. They started moving, fast, towards the swinging doors that led into the OR, and I jogged along behind them, heart pounding.

"Are you a relative," the nurse asked over her shoulder.

"His teacher. We're on a field trip, so I'm his legal guardian right now."

The trolley was parked in an empty bay in the ER. Another nurse appeared with a silver tray on wheels, and Bradley started coming round.

"What's his name?"

"Bradley. Bradley Goldman."

"How old?"

"Twelve."

"Hey Bradley. I'm Jennifer." The first nurse gently tapped his cheek while the other unwound the bandage and grabbed some scissors from the tray. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Jumping…on the bed…" he mumbled. Jennifer looked at me.

"He and his room mates were jumping on the beds in the hotel room. Bradley bounced into the television, the screen shattered and cut his arm."

Jennifer nodded. She spoke quickly with the other nurse who was cleaning the wound. I didn't look. Instead I went to the head of the trolley and stroked Bradley's hair.

"It'll be okay," I said. "You'll be fine."

Jennifer pulled me gently aside.

"It's a deep wound," she said. "And long. There's glass still in there and he's lucky he hasn't cut an artery, but he's nicked a vein. We'll get a doctor to him as quick as we can but in the meantime we can stop the blood flow and clean him up. He'll have a lot of stitches, but he'll be fine."

"Okay. Good. Thanks."

Jennifer smiled, spoke quietly to the other nurse, and then disappeared. I sat in the hard-backed chair near the trolley and waited. A moment later, a young guy appeared in jeans and a checked shirt. He had messy fair hair and a crooked nose and it was only the stethoscope in his hand that hinted at who he might be.

"Hi, I'm George. I'm one of the doctors and I'll be looking after young Bradley, here." He took a quick look at what the nurse was doing, said hello to Bradley, then turned back to me. "You're his teacher, right?"

"I…sort of…not exactly. I'm a trainee teacher, in my second year at college, but I'm doing my unit of practical experience at Bradley's school."

He smiled. "And you got volunteered to go on the field trip, right?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I got extra credit points if I came along."

He chuckled. "Sounds like a fair deal. How many kids?"

"Just eight. We got funding to bring them to Wrigley Field and see a game and meet the Chicago Cubs."

George looked impressed. "We didn't have field trips like that when I was a kid."

"It's part of a baseball program run within the school." I lowered my voice. "For disadvantaged kids."

"Ah, I see. So, where are the regular teachers? Shouldn't one of them have brought him in?"

What did I say to that? Sylvia had come down with a migraine after dinner and taken something to knock her out. Jeff had almost thrown up at the sight of the wound and then said he should sort things out with the hotel about the broken television and call Bradley's parents. He'd hugged me when I'd said I'd take Bradley to the hospital.

"They're looking after the other students."

George nodded and turned to Bradley. "How you feeling there, Brad?"

Bradley gave a weak nod of his head. "Okay. My arm hurts."

"Yeah. We're going to give you something for that real soon." The nurse stepped aside and George bent closely over the wound. He frowned, and murmured something to the nurse that I couldn't hear. She nodded and replied, but I couldn't hear what she said either. Then George straightened.

"There's still a lot of glass in there," he said. "Some it's real deep, and close to a major artery. It might need surgery to open up more and make sure we get it all, but before we go down that path, I want to get another doctor to take a look."

"Okay, sure." Surgery. My heart sank.

"You'll wait here?"

"Yes. Yes, of course."

"I'll be back soon."

George gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder, and then disappeared. The nurse smiled.

"I'm Sarah," she said. "Is he allergic to anything?"

"Um…" I quickly consulted my phone, looking for the emailed copy of the medical information and release forms signed by the parents of the students. I found Bradley's and started to read. "He's gluten free. That's all."

"This will be fine then." Sarah held out a paper cup of water and a tablet. "Do you think you can manage to sit up and take this for me, Bradley? It'll help with the pain."

Sarah and I helped Bradley sit up. He swallowed the tablet and then we eased him back against the pillows.

"If you need anything, just press the buzzer," Sarah said, and then she was gone.

"I'm sorry, Miss Swan." Bradley's voice was faint and apologetic.

"It's okay," I said, and stroked his hair again. "But next time, no jumping on beds, okay?"

"Okay. Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

"I'll still be able to go to the game tomorrow, won't I?"

My heart sank a little further, and twisted itself into a knot. If they were talking about surgery, I didn't see how that would be possible. "Why don't we wait and see what the other doctor says?"

Bradley nodded. "Okay. Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

"You smell like Mr Barrett."

"Huh?" Then I realised. Jeff's thank you hug, and Jeff's cologne. I turned my head and took a wiff and sure enough, I smelled like Blue Stratos.

Bradley sighed and shut his eyes. I sighed too, and stared at the apricot curtain that Sarah had closed around the bed.

"I thought you were going to throw up in the taxi," Bradley murmured. "When you were trying to keep the towel on my arm." Funnily enough, I'd thought the same thing.

"No," I lied. "I was just worried about you." But that_ was_ true. I'd been very worried.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "I hope you get a job at our school after you graduate."

I smiled. Bradley was a sweet kid. Polite and kind with a good heart and a mean pitching arm. "I don't get to pick or choose, unfortunately."

"Would you stay if you could?"  
"Sure."

He smiled too. "Do you have a boyfriend, Miss Swan?"  
His question took me by surprise, and I laughed. "That's a bit personal, Bradley, but no. I don't have a boyfriend. Now get some rest."

He shut his eyes again and sank back into the pillows. "You should have a boyfriend," he said. "You're too nice not to have one."

Yeah, if that was all there was to it.

I'd dated a couple of guys over the past two years. First Daniel, and then Mark. I'd liked them both a lot, and we'd had good fun, but as soon as things got serious, I'd backed off. It hadn't seemed right, either time. But that was okay. I wasn't in a hurry to find someone. When the time was right, and the guy was right, the universe would send him my way.

The ER was a noisy, busy place, and for a while I wondered if we'd been forgotten. Bradley dozed and my backside went numb from the hard chair. Finally, I saw shadows on the other side of the curtain, and heard murmured voices. Then the curtain was pulled back.

Edward Cullen walked into the bay and my heart stopped beating. My mouth opened, but no sound came out, and for a moment it felt like my world had come crashing to a halt. I wondered if I was hallucinating.

"Hi," he said, smiling at Bradley and his golden eyes were warm and kind. "I'm Edward. I'm one of the doctors here. George asked me to take a look at your arm."

This couldn't be happening. Could it? But it was happening. He was standing just six feet away from me. My brain was trying to keep up with what my eyes were seeing, and it was having trouble. My heart had all but given up.

He looked different. Older somehow, though that wasn't possible. Maybe it was the glasses he was wearing. Or the stethoscope slung round his neck. Or the way he was snapping on a pair of blue surgical gloves.

He was dressed casually, like George. Jeans and a silvery grey open-neck shirt. There was a professionalism about him. And a maturity that was new to me.

I realised my mouth was still open, and closed it.

How had this happened? Fifteen months ago Edward had been riding a motorcycle and watching old Christmas movies. He couldn't have studied and graduated in that time. But then I remembered, he already had two medical degrees under his belt, there was no need for more study. His latest qualifications must have been forged.

But why was he here? He'd said he'd never be strong enough to do what Carlisle did.

Things had obviously changed.

Edward had changed.

He had moved closer to Bradley, and was smiling again. It was a warm smile, but a careful one, no teeth. "Do you mind if I take a look at your arm?"

"No."

Edward leant down to take a look beneath the dressing. "Wow, that's pretty impressive. How did you manage this, Bradley?"

My young charge told the story of the battle on the beds, and the rogue television that got in the way. Edward winced. "Ouch. That's gotta hurt. You're tougher than I am." He was rewarded with a beaming Bradley smile. I realised I was smiling too. Edward was so good with him. A natural, it seemed. "What are you doing in Chicago?" he asked.

Bradley's pain seemed forgotten as he spoke about this morning's visit to Wrigley Field and meeting the Cubs and the plan to watch the game tomorrow.

Edward let out a long, appreciative whistle. "Is there room for one more?" he asked, grinning and Bradley laughed. "Well, we'd better get you fixed up in time for the big game."

"Do you need me to advise the OR?" Sarah stepped closer.

"No," Edward said. "We don't need surgery. Bradley and I can handle this ourselves." He winked at Bradley who winked back, but got it wrong and shut both his eyes in a blink. Then Edward turned to me and smiled a friendly, professional smile. But there was recognition in his eyes, though his face and voice were of a polite stranger.

"You're Bradley's teacher?"

"Student teacher. I'm assisting on the field trip."

There was a spark of something in his eyes. It almost seemed like pride. Then that spark was gone, and he was Dr Cullen.

"I'd like to repair the wound here, in the ER. It's a clean cut with neat edges. There's an artery close to the site, but not close enough for me to worry about damaging it. I'll give him a local anaesthetic and I should be able to get all the fragments out without any need for surgery, which is good, that's what we want. The less invasive the procedure the better. But also, if he had a full general anaesthetic and surgery tonight, there's no way he'd make it to the game tomorrow."

"That's what I thought, and he'd hate to miss out on that. It would devastate him."

Edward nodded. "We'll also give him antibiotics to avoid any infection. There'll be stitches, but I'll make sure the scar is as smooth as possible."

I was nodding, taking all this in. But he was so close. So close. But I had to be the responsible adult here, and put aside the past and any feelings that were raging inside me. "Okay."

"Is there anything I need to know? Any allergies, recent illnesses or surgeries?"

"He was off school with a flu about two weeks ago. But he's seemed fine since."

"Good. Do I have your permission to go ahead?"

"I..yes, please. Go ahead."

He nodded, before turning and giving some instructions to Sarah. Then he spoke to Bradley.

"I'm just going to get ready, Bradley," he said. "I'll be back in a minute."

I watched him go. Suddenly, Sarah's voice was at my ear. "Don't worry," she said. "Everything will be fine. Dr Cullen is one of the best."

I didn't get to see Edward come back, because the admin lady appeared a moment later with her clip board and said she needed information. And as I was walking to the desk with her, my phone rang and it was Jeff, and I filled him in on everything so he could report back to Bradley's parents.

By the time I'd filled in the forms and finished the phone call, things were well under way in the little ER bay. I could hear the gentle murmur of voices and I didn't want to disturb, so I stepped quietly inside the curtain. Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, bent slightly over Bradley's arm, I could tell from the movement of his shoulders that he worked quickly and easily. With his back to me, I noticed how his bronze hair still curled softly at the collar of his shirt, just like it always had.

Bradley's eyes had been shut, be he opened them now. He looked at me, then he looked down at his arm, and he went green.

"Er…Miss Swan?" He looked back at me with frightened eyes.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm here." I went to him, and held his good hand.

This wasn't a good angle for me. All the action was happening right across from where I was standing. Edward had changed surgical gloves. These ones were white and the blood stood out sharply. My head swam a little, but I stood fast, and focused on the young boy on the trolley. "Hey, you're going to have quite the scar to show off, aren't you?"

"Not if I do my job properly," Edward said, and I could hear the faint smile in his voice. "How are you feeling, Miss Swan?" He kept his eyes down as he spoke.

"Good. Fine."

"She looked sick in the taxi," Bradley murmured.

"But I wasn't," I said.

The admin lady stuck her head round the curtain. "Sorry, but I have another form that needs filling out."

"Can it wait?"

Bradley squeezed my hand. "It's okay," he said. "You go, I'll be alright now."

So I went and ticked a few more boxes and had to call Jeff to find out the school's insurance details. By the time I got back to the ER, Edward had finished up. He was coming out through the curtains of the bay.

"All done," he said. "Bradley's fine. We'll keep him here for a couple of hours, but then he can go back to the hotel with you."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"My pleasure."

Now I was trying to think what else to say. Trying to work out what I was feeling. I didn't want him to go, not yet, but a nurse was already hurrying over. "Dr Cullen, code blue in cubicle 4!"

"Coming!" he called. "I'm sorry, I have to go." He was already moving away, pulling off the surgical gloves that had Bradley's blood on them. He tossed them into a bin, and that was when I noticed the gold band on the third finger of his left hand.

In a daze, I walked back to Bradley. Edward was married. I assumed that's what the ring meant. Especially on that hand. On _that _finger.

_I don't know why you're upset_, said a voice in my head. _This is what you wanted. You made him promise to find someone else to love. _

I had. I had made him promise. But now that he had…

I dropped onto the hard chair beside Bradley's trolley. Maybe it wasn't a wedding ring. Maybe it had some other meaning. A gift from one of his family, maybe. But why would he wear it like that?

I tried to work out how I felt, and couldn't. It had been a shock seeing him. It had been good too. So good. And he'd seemed confident and happy and in control. It seemed leaving _had_ been the best thing for him.

I had so many questions. So many things I wanted to say. I wished there'd been a chance to talk properly, privately, even if just for a moment.

"You okay Miss Swan?"

"Fine," I said automatically. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright. My arm's numb."

"That's probably a good thing right now." I smiled and hoped it looked genuine. "Um, Bradley, did Dr Cullen say anything while he was with you?"

He shrugged. "We talked about baseball. He likes it too. And he asked about school." He shrugged again. "He has a baseball from the first game ever played at Wrigley. In_ 1914_. But it wasn't called Wrigley then. I can't remember what he said it was called." He yawned. "He said he got it on eBay."

"eBay?" Somewhere in my scattered, shaken state, I found a smile. Yeah, right, eBay. Or he was there in the stadium for that first game, and caught the ball.

"He's a nice guy," Bradley said.

"Yeah, he seemed nice." I swallowed hard, thinking of how he'd asked how I was coping while he'd stitched Bradley's arm. He'd known it would have been hard for me, and that little question had meant so much. "So, did he mention me, at all?"

Bradley frowned. "No."

I nodded. "Okay, good."

We sat for a while and I tried to ignore the burning pain that had taken up residence in my chest.

Sarah came in to check on Bradley. I stood up and moved aside as she took his pulse and his temperature and told him he was all good to go very soon. "Here's some after-care information," she said, handing me a print out.

"Will we see the doctor again?" I asked.

"He's busy with another case," she said. "Do you have any questions? I might be able to help."

"Oh, no, it's fine. I just wanted to say thank you." Again. I turned to Bradley. "Maybe we could come back tomorrow, and you can say thanks and tell Dr Cullen about the game."

"I'm sorry," Sarah said. "He won't be here. Dr Cullen wasn't even supposed to be on tonight. His shift finished yesterday but we needed another pair of hands. He flies out tomorrow on vacation.

"Oh. Vacation."

Sarah nodded.

"With his…wife?"

She gave me a slightly puzzled look, but nodded again. "He'll be back in two weeks," she said. "But if there are any problems, any of our doctors can help."

"Yes, of course, thank you."

She walked away and I sat back down again.

It felt like the world had dropped out from under me, and I'd been left floundering in space.

He _was_ married.

Oh god, it hurt. I hugged myself hard and tried not to imagine him with her, whoever she was. Another vampire, no doubt. In my mind she was blonde and beautiful and I wanted to throw up.

But what had I expected? For him to spend eternity pining for me? Would I want that for him? Of course not. Or had I expected him to come running after me? Deep down, is that what I'd thought would happen? Maybe it was.

But he hadn't come running. He'd respected my wishes and stayed away. And there'd been no contact, except for the Hummer and the white card. And that night outside the movie theatre in Montana. For days after that, I'd wondered whether he'd been following me. Keeping watch, keeping me safe. But I didn't think so, now.

I rubbed at my chest. I still loved him, but that was no surprise. The day I said goodbye in that clearing, I knew I would always love him. But had I really understood what I was doing back then? Maybe I hadn't.

I shifted in the chair but there was no comfort to be had. There'd be no comfort anywhere, ever again.

"Stop it," I muttered under my breath. "You're being melodramatic." I'd had a shock, that was all, I just needed to process and get over it. It's not like I'd been pining for him, after all. I'd moved on too. And if we hadn't broken up, if we'd stayed together, where would we be now?

I really couldn't answer that. I had no idea. And suddenly, a whole new world of thoughts started circling in my brain.

I'd been saying that the break-up was the best thing for Edward, but maybe it had also been the best thing for me, too. When we were together, neither of us could ever fully be ourselves. There were always limits and restrictions. He couldn't relax. But I realised now, neither could I. I had to be on my guard, just like he had. And my love for him had been so intense, there'd been nothing left for me. I'd been absorbed by the relationship. Too much, too young.

But things were different now. What if he came to me, wanting to try again? I banished that thought immediately. He had someone else. I couldn't even entertain the thought of any sort of reunion. I'd made my decision. It was hard and it hurt but it was done and it was over.

I took a few deep breaths. I would be happy for him. Glad that he wouldn't be alone. I could do that for him. And I could do that for me.

"Miss Swan?" It was Sarah, back again. "I've checked with Dr Cullen and he said you're good to go now."

-ooo0ooo-

I got back to Columbus from Chicago, and discovered my Hummer had been stolen. It was like the last straw and something in me snapped, so when the insurance money came in, I didn't buy another car. Instead I deferred my college course for six months, packed a bag, grabbed my guitar and bought a plane ticket to Europe.

I started with England and moved onto France. Germany. Austria. I wandered and explored and met new people and did new things.

In Switzerland, I met Hugh. He was English and he was fun. We hired a cheap car and drove south to Italy. I sent photos every day to Renee and Charlie and Tara and Brian.

"You should be a photographer, not a teacher," Hugh said as I took another photo of the Trevi Fountain.

"Nah, I'm just mucking around. Nothing serious." I turned my camera on him. "Smile!" He poked out his tongue instead, just as the waitress came to take our order. "Oh my god, I'm sorry," he said quickly. "That wasn't at you. It was meant for her. Not in a bad way, though, I mean…oh god." At this point I was laughing so hard I'd started to choke and Hugh got up to pat me on the back. The waitress was giving us strange looks. "Um, we'll have two cappuccinos, please? And a water." The waitress nodded and went away. "Are you okay?"

The choking had eased and I drew in a deep breath. "I'm good," I said. "Just don't do anything else funny, okay?"

"I'll see what I can do," he said and sat down again. "Listen, I've been thinking…"

"Mm?"

"About where we go tomorrow." He put his phone on the small café table and touched the screen. "Volterra," he said. "Ancient city, high in the mountains. Amazing architecture. You'd get some great photos there."

I looked at the picture of the clock tower on the screen of Hugh's phone. The memory of that painting in Carlisle's office came back to me, and the story of the Vampire version of a royal family.

"Um, I don't think so," I said quickly. "I've heard Volterra isn't that good."

"Really?" Hugh looked at the picture, puzzled. "I've heard really good things. It's virtually untouched, and not so touristy. And there's going to be a big festival there in a couple of days. Everyone dresses in red, it's supposed to be spectacular."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

Because you could end up as someone's lunch. "I just don't think it is."

Hugh sat back in his seat and wasn't to be deterred. "I was talking to a guy last night when we were in the bar, and he'd just come back from there the day before. He said it was worth going."

I shook my head. "Look, Hugh, I've heard bad things about Volterra. Tourists being beaten up and robbed, things like that. Happens a lot there, apparently."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I could feel my cheeks redden with the lie. "It's dangerous. Not recommended."

"I still think it's worth going," he said. "I've been travelling for a year and haven't been mugged yet."

And I knew going to Volterra didn't automatically mean there'd be a run-in with a vampire, but for me, it wasn't worth the risk.

"You go if you want," I said. "But I don't think you should. I'm not going."

Hugh blinked at me. "You're saying no?"

"I'm saying no."

He took a deep breath. "Alright then, where do you want to go?"

Where did I want to go? From nowhere, a bone-deep weariness washed over me. I'd been travelling for almost five months, I'd had some incredible experiences, but suddenly, I was tired, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do next. I gave Hugh a small smile, and shrugged.

"I want to go home."

The next day, Hugh and I said goodbye and went our separate ways. He took the car and headed for Umbria, he said. Rome airport was closed because of freakishly high winds, so I caught the overnight train to Paris and booked a flight to Los Angeles for the following day.

I set myself up to wait in a quiet back corner of the departure lounge because I didn't want to spend money on a room for one night and I'd got used to sleeping upright in trains and buses. I was curled up on my seat, trying to sleep, when my phone beeped. It was a message from Hugh, with a photo attached.

_Went to Volterra instead. Day trip and I didn't get mugged. Back safe in Florence now. But check this out, what the fuck makes purple smoke?_

It was a photo of the countryside, with an ancient walled city in the far distance. In the foreground, rising from a densely wooded areas, was a cloud of purple smoke. My blood ran cold. Hugh had come so close to meeting a vampire.

I texted back. _Glad you stayed safe. No ideas about the purple smoke. Trick of the light? _

I put the phone away, pulled my jacket over me like a blanket, and closed my eyes.

Around 1am, I woke with a cramp. The pain shot up my leg and I winced and gasped and pulled on my toes. It eased a little, but not enough, and I got up to walk it off.

I did two circuits of the departure lounge, glad it was deserted and no-one could see me limping. Then I walked out into the concourse for a short way. There were more people wandering around than I'd expected. I caught snatches of conversation through the noise and bustle – a plane had made an emergency landing because of mechanical problems. The passengers were being off-loaded in Paris, it seemed. Local hotels had been organised to put them up for the night. Suddenly, the thought of a proper bed for the night seemed like a good idea.

I yawned and stretched and did another circuit of the lounge. My leg was feeling better now and I decided on one more little trip into the concourse before trying to settle down again.

The crowd had gone. There was just one person left. A man with a backpack slung over his shoulder, a little way in the distance, staring at his feet as he walked.

Edward Cullen.

The shock of seeing him was too much. A slow tear fell down my cheek, and for a second I wondered if I could hide before he saw me, but no. He looked up. And he stopped.

For a long, still moment, we stared at each other. Then Edward dropped the backpack, and he was running. Running towards me, not even bothering to swerve around the trash can in his path, but leaping over it, until he was standing right in front of me.

I couldn't even let myself wonder what this might mean.

I looked into Edward's eyes and saw a love that was breathtaking in its fierceness, and determination. He held out his left hand, and his finger was bare. He smiled his crooked smile.

"Will you walk with me, Bella?"

Oh my god, yes. Yes! I wanted to say I'd walk anywhere with him, but the words wouldn't come. So I just reached out and as I did, I heard the small hitch of his breath. "I should tell you," he said, and his voice was deep and determined. "If you take my hand now, I'll never let you go again."

I smiled, and my heart sang, as I placed my hand in his.

-o0o-

**A/N: I felt bad, leaving you all hanging, wondering if they'd get their happy ending or not, so I wrote this today instead of doing laundry : ) Next update really will be next week, and will likely be the last chapter.**

**Have a good weekend!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**-ooo0ooo-**

**Two days earlier…**

With the flick of a match, Victoria's broken body erupted violently in flames. Clouds of purple smoke filled the small woodland clearing and spiralled into the Tuscan night sky. It wouldn't take long before the Volturi saw, and knew that one of their own kind had been killed. And then they would come. Edward backed away slowly, knowing he didn't have long before they'd arrive, but still taking a moment to watch, making sure the vicious vampire was gone for good, though her smoke would linger for hours. It would give the tourists something to ponder, Edward thought.

Then he turned and ran. The Volturi wasn't the only thing he needed to avoid. Sunrise was only fifteen minutes away. He needed to get to shelter, and he needed a car. And then he needed to get a flight home. He had patients waiting for him and he was due to give a presentation to staff on ER protocol in a little over 48 hours.

It occurred to Edward that if he'd been human, he would have probably died of exhaustion and stress by now. But then, if he'd been human, he wouldn't be in this situation. Instead he'd be with Bella.

_Bella._

The thought of her was always so bitter sweet. Pleasure and pain.

It was more than two years since she'd said goodbye, but his heart had never wavered. She was still everything to him, and always would be. She'd made him a better man. She was the motivation for the changes he'd made in his life.

She _was _his life.

And now she was safe.

Edward gave silent thanks for his sister's gift as his mind drifted back to that frantic phone call just twenty hours earlier.

He'd been bored in a staff meeting when he'd accepted Alice's call. "It's Victoria," she'd said and Edward had immediately excused himself from yet another powerpoint presentation to take the call in the third floor supply room.

"What do you see?" he'd asked and he'd felt a quickening in his chest.

"She's going to the Volturi. She wants revenge for James." Alice's voice broke. "She's going to tell them about Bella."

Edward had been on the next flight out of Chicago.

He'd actually arrived in Tuscany before Victoria, and had waited for her, miles away from Volterra's ancient walls, listening for her thoughts. The moon had been high in the sky when he'd caught the first snatches of her mind. She was focused and determined and her revenge had been a long time in the planning, although going to the Volturi wasn't her first choice of payback for a lost mate.

She'd wanted to kill Bella herself. As Edward had invaded Victoria's mind he'd been almost crazed with fury, seeing the vicious plans she'd had. But it seemed those plans had failed when Victoria arrived in Forks almost a year ago, and found Bella and the Cullens long-gone. Unable to track Bella down, it seemed she'd eventually decided to let the Volturi do the job for her.

Edward had stalked her silently across the hillside, keeping enough distance so she wouldn't know he was there, but close enough that he could still read her mind. But he'd known the moment would come when she discovered him, and he'd been well prepared for that.

When Victoria had finally sensed him, she'd tried to run. She was slippery and quick, and it had been a game of cat and mouse, but ultimately she was no match for the enraged vampire whose mate was in danger. In sight of the city walls, Edward had caught her and without a word, simply snapped her neck, removed her head from her shoulders, and sent her skyward in that purple cloud. The whole process had taken four seconds.

Now, as he made his way back down the hillside, Edward pushed all thoughts of the vicious red-head from his mind, and thought instead of Bella.

It would be almost midnight in Columbus right now. Bella was probably curled up in her bed and Edward ignored the probability that she might be with someone. Instead, in his mind, it was him there with her, _his_ arms around her, their legs entwined, bodies pressed together. He'd bury his face in her hair and trail his lips over her throat. The image brought a fleeting smile to his lips. But it also sharpened the ache that was always with him. He rubbed at his chest, as if that would ease the pain, and let the image go for now. He needed to focus on other things this morning. There'd be time later to let his mind wander.

A town came into view and moments later Edward was faced with an impossible decision. Should he steal the blue Audi? Or the yellow Porsche? He was familiar with the specs on both cars, he knew the speeds the Porsche would do, and it was so tempting, because he could really do with some speed right now, but it would be like driving a flashing neon sign. So he sighed and chose the slightly slower, but less conspicuous, Audi. The tint on its windows was a shade darker, anyway.

It was the work of a silent second for Edward to break into the car, start the engine, and roar out of the town. The sun was just peeking over the horizon.

He drove fifteen miles to the next town, putting more and more distance between him and the Volturi, and pulled over under the shade of a tree. The sun was climbing higher into the sky and he had to work fast. The car he'd stolen from the airport at Rome was parked where he'd left it behind an old barn, and he quickly grabbed his backpack from its trunk. Then he returned to the Audi. Better to stick with the new car than one that had probably been reported stolen already. He took his phone from the pocket of his backpack and sent Carlisle a quick text; two words, in Latin…

_Factum est_

_It is done._

Then he turned off his phone because it was low on charge, tossed his backpack onto the passenger seat and hit the road again.

ooo

Just a few hours later, Edward arrived in Rome, and discovered the airport had been closed due to freakishly high winds. He didn't want to wait around, so after a moment's consideration, he decided to take the train to Switzerland, and fly out of Zurich. He booked two first class seats so he wouldn't have to share his space, and settled in for the eight hour ride.

He switched on his phone and it rang almost immediately.

"Carlisle…"

"Edward." The relief in his father's voice was clear. "You're alright, son?"

"I am now."

"She's gone?"  
"In a puff of purple smoke," Edward said darkly, and gave Carlisle a brief, whispered run-down of how things had played out. When he'd finished, he heard his father give a weary sigh.

"You know we would have come…"

"I know," Edward said quickly. "But this was my fight."

There was a pause and Edward sensed Carlisle's silent disagreement. "You're going back to Chicago now?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm on my way. I have a presentation the day after tomorrow. But I was thinking…" he stared out the window, up at the sky. "I have some time off next month. I know it's been a while since I visited…"

Edward didn't live with his family anymore. Being surrounded by three happy, loving couples was too much for him, although he called every week to check in.

"We'd love to see you, son." Edward could hear the joy in Carlisle's voice, and Esme's excited squeal in the background. He smiled, and then changed the subject.

"As a point of interest, I saw something else in her thoughts…" He couldn't bring himself to say Victoria's name.

"What was that?"

"The wolves are back."

There was silence from Carlisle, then, "At La Push?"

"At La Push," Edward confirmed. "There's quite a few."

"Well, I suppose it makes sense that they'd make a return."

"They chased her out pretty quickly by the looks of what I saw." And he would be forever grateful for that. It meant Victoria hadn't been able to hang around and find out where Bella might be.

Edward's phone beeped. "My battery's getting low. I'd better go."

"Wait!" Carlisle said. "Alice wants to talk to you."

The phone changed hands. "You're okay?" Alice asked.

"Of course," Edward grinned. "You know me."

Alice laughed. "I do, and that's why I'm asking. So, it's all done? All taken care of?"

Edward's smile became serious. "All done. Thank you," he said quietly. "If it wasn't for your vision…"

"My visions mean nothing if people don't act on them, Edward. You did this. Not me."

"But I couldn't have done it without you." He took a slow breath. "Can you see her?" he asked. "Bella?"

There was a pause. "Nothing new," she said. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's fine. "

Edward's phone made another beep. "I'm about to run out of charge," he said.

"Okay. You go. We'll see you soon. Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes?"

"You did right not to pick the yellow Porsche. The Polizia would have chased you."

Edward chuckled. "But they'd never catch me," he said.

"Oh, I know." She giggled. "But they were going to try and you were going to…" she giggled again. "You know that movie The Italian Job? The chase scene?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Goodbye Alice," he said.

He was still chuckling as he turned off the phone and slipped it into his pocket. As he did so, the overhead light bounced off the gold band on his finger. Edward sighed. There was a new scratch on the surface and he rubbed at it with his thumb. There were a lot of scratches actually, because he never took the ring off. Not once since it had been put on his finger over a year ago. But this scratch was deeper. Almost a gouge, and he knew it had happened when he'd crash-tackled Victoria on the rocky Tuscan hillside. Slowly, Edward took the ring off and tucked it away in the zipper compartment of his wallet. He'd get it polished and repaired when he got back to Chicago. Until then, he'd keep it safe and out of harm's way.

The train was entering countryside now. Edward slumped low in his seat and leant his head against the window. He wished he could sleep. Then he wondered what he would dream about, if he could.

Bella, no doubt.

And then he wondered if that would be a good thing, or a bad thing.

Maybe he'd have a nightmare about Victoria, and the Volturi.

He shook himself and sat up again, not wanting his mind to go there.

This whole business with Victoria was just more proof that Bella had been right to leave him. He wasn't just a danger to her, but to his whole family. The Volturi would have wiped them all out, as punishment for his falling in love with a human. That was why, when Carlisle had called yesterday and said they were all preparing to come to Italy, Edward had vehemently insisted they didn't. The possibility that they could all find themselves at the mercy of Aro, and Jane, was unbearable.

Edward sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, thinking of what could have happened, and gave thanks again that Alice's visions came through when it counted.

He'd surprised himself when he'd asked her if she'd seen Bella. He'd never asked before, and if he was honest, if Alice had seen something, Edward wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Alice's visions of Bella had become infrequent and vague since she'd left Forks – no-one was sure why. The last clear one had been the high school graduation in Jacksonville. After that it had just been flickers here and there, but nothing concrete. Nothing clear enough to say where she was living or what she was doing. Edward actually preferred it that way. Sort of. Every day he fought the temptation to check on her, but Bella had wanted a life apart from him and his kind – it wouldn't seem right to see into that life.

It would feel like an invasion of her privacy.

She had her life now. And he had his.

Although fate had given him glimpses of her. Twice he'd seen her in the random thoughts of strangers. Then there'd been that night outside the theatre. He groaned now, and rubbed at his chest as the pain of that memory flared.

He'd been home from his _listless wanderings_, as Alice called it, and in a moment of nostalgia had taken himself to an old movie. Afterwards, it had been such a shock to hear that heartbeat, and look up to see Bella standing there on the other side of the street. It had felt to Edward, like the world had been pulled out from under him. He hadn't known what to do.

Bella had looked shocked too. And so beautiful, with the wind in her hair and a flush of colour on her cheeks. He hadn't believed she was there, real and alive and just fifty feet away.

Why?

How?

Edward's mind had raced with possible scenarios and explanations but all he could come up with was that this was a cruel coincidence…or fate.

_Fate?_

Edward didn't normally believe in fate, but suddenly, he'd found himself embracing the idea. Maybe fate was telling them they'd got it wrong – that they were meant to be together. Why else would they find each other in such a remote place, on a cold winter's night? Especially when he'd done everything he could to stay away.

There'd been a storm of emotion raging inside him, and it had almost killed him not to cross that road and sweep her into his arms. Instead he'd smiled, and lifted his hand in a wave, willing her to see the hope in his eyes and the wish in his heart. "Please," he'd whispered under his breath, wanting another chance, but knowing it had to be Bella's choice. It would always be Bella's choice. "Please cross the road."

Bella had waved too, and her smile had been like watching the sun come up, and for a moment Edward had thought he could feel his heart beating. But she hadn't come to him.

It became clear then that she was not alone, and though the young man with her didn't seem to have any romantic attachment, it was possible that Bella did. Maybe the young man was who she wanted. Perhaps she had hopes of her own. Hopes that didn't include Edward. And that was why she hadn't crossed the road.

He'd felt like he was being crushed from the inside.

Edward hadn't wanted to spoil things for her. And he hadn't wanted to make a fool of himself. So he'd reined in his feelings as he'd nodded goodbye. But he'd inhaled deeply, hoping to catch her scent one last time, but the winter wind had been blowing the wrong way, and all he had smelled was snow.

This time, Edward had been the first one to turn away. He'd forced himself to turn his back, mount his motorbike and ride away from Bella, into the night. He'd pushed the bike, trying to outrun the pain. He pushed it until it's engine screamed and the pistons broke…

…and it skidded across the icy road into a tree.

"Fuck."

Flat on his back, staring up at the sky, with snow falling on his face and a tyre on his chest, Edward had experienced a moment of painful clarity.

Nothing had changed since Bella said goodbye 16 months ago. She was still human. He was still a vampire. The reasons she'd left were still the same, and always would be. So maybe fate had been giving him a different message.

That Bella was fine, and it was time for him to truly move on.

Edward had groaned. "Okay, I get it," he'd said to the sky. "I get it. You didn't have to destroy my bike to tell me."

It was that night he'd made the decision that changed his life. But that decision had almost come undone nearly 18 months later, in the ER of the Chicago Hospital.

"Is this seat taken?"  
Edward barely glanced at the woman standing in the aisle, pointing at the empty set opposite him. She was smiling what she thought was a sexy smile.

"Yes," he answered. "It is."

She curled a strand of blonde hair around her finger. Her face was beautiful. Her mind was a sewer. "It doesn't look taken."

Slowly, elegantly, Edward stretched out his long legs, resting them very deliberately on the spare seat as he gave her a cold, disinterested stare. His actions surprised her, and she glared. "Oh! There's no need to be like that," she said.

"Oh, I think there is," Edward drawled.

She gasped softly, glared some more, and returned to her own seat in a huff.

Edward went back to staring out the window. The mountains were in view now, their snow-capped peaks showing stark white against the blue sky. The train took a bend and Edward moved out of the sun that streamed across the seat. He put his head back against the head rest, and closed his eyes.

He decided he should ride his motorbike along the Nurburgring Nordschleife track in Germany. It was notoriously dangerous, and that was just how Edward liked it. Mentally, he ran through his schedule for the next few months and found a date. He worked such long hours at the hospital, they never begrudged him a few days here and there. A week would be all he needed.

He missed riding the bike. He missed the speed and the freedom and the distraction it brought him. It took him out of himself for a while and things felt better on the back of a bike, with the wind slamming him in the face, and the world a blur even to his eyes. It had been three months since he'd tackled Iceland's highland roads, and that was too long. He was growing restless again.

Edward opened his eyes, took his feet off the seat and took his iPad from his bag. He needed to check his emails. And he had a presentation to give in less than 48 hours so he should really prepare some slides.

He scanned his inbox, ignoring the emails about the new overtime policy and the plans to overhaul the procedure for reporting needle-stick injuries. He scrolled past the message imploring staff to park their cars in their allotted spaces and nowhere else. He bypassed the message about the upcoming compulsory seminars on sterilization procedures, with forms attached. Edward hated the administration that went with being a doctor. But it was part of the job, it seemed, so he played the game and went to meetings and presentations and seminars and pretended to be interested. Even so, he was usually the last to arrive at a meeting and the first to leave – always eager to get back to the ER or the wards. Other staff marveled at his dedication and that was something that wasn't fake.

Edward was an excellent and dedicated doctor.

He loved his work, and he loved the difference he could make to people's lives. And his heightened senses meant he did make a difference, every day.

Edward opened the email about Mr Arnstein's test results and began to read.

ooo

It was dark when the train pulled into the station at Zurich. Edward took a taxi to the airport and not long after he was aboard a flight for Chicago.

Edward knew there was a problem as soon as the plane left the runway. He could hear the faint rattle in the engine. It was nothing serious, he knew that, but it was enough that the pilots would have to bring the plane in as soon as they realized. Hopefully they'd get as far as London's Heathrow – Edward could pick up another direct flight easily from there. But if they landed anywhere else, direct flights might be harder to come by and he really didn't want to change planes somewhere along the way.

Edward didn't get his wish.

When the pilot announced they'd be off-boarded at Paris and put up for the night, he cursed under his breath. But there wasn't a lot he could do. He'd have to spend the night in the City of Love.

One of the flight attendants, Georgia, was planning to hit on him. It was there in her thoughts as he walked with her and a group of passengers onto the concourse. She wasn't like the woman on the train, which was a relief. This was just going to be an invitation to have a drink, and see where things went. Edward knew Georgia would have to stay with her group until they were all organised with a bed for the night, so he hung back a little, putting some distance between them, and pretended to be on his phone when she looked back for him.

"Sir?" she said. "You need to come with me so I can organize your accommodation."

"It's alright," he said, pointing to his phone. "I'll make my own arrangements. Thank you." And he went back to his make-believe call.

Georgia's disappointment was clear in her thoughts, but her expression was polite and professional. "Certainly, sir," she said, smiling, and went on her way.

He waited until they were all out of sight, round a corner, before he moved off again.

Edward had always liked Paris, though it was years since he'd been. There was a time, back in Forks, when he'd entertained fantasies of bringing Bella here after graduation. Fantasies in which he'd show her _his _Paris; Paris by night. In his mind he would have booked the best room at the famous George Cinq Hotel, with views of the Eiffel Tower and the Champs Elysees. They would have wandered the avenues, holding hands, as he'd shown her the city after dark with its beautiful lights. They would have gone to the best restaurants, made visits to moody jazz clubs and had private after-hours tours of the Louvre.

It had seemed romantic at the time. A grand gesture.

Now it just seemed corny and cliché.

Edward dragged his hand through hair. He'd have to let the hospital know he'd be a day late getting back. He wanted to start Mr Arnstein's treatment tomorrow – he'd have to email instructions for that to George and ask him to oversee things until he got back. And then there was that presentation. He might send that to the ER manager and ask her to present it on his behalf.

Edward stared down at his feet, wondering if he should bother with a hotel or just wait out the night in the Gold Class lounge. A hotel would offer more privacy for him to work, but then the airport wasn't exactly busy right now. Especially in this part. It seemed to be just him and one other person. Up ahead he could hear the faint sounds of someone walking around one of the departure lounges. Whoever it was came out into the concourse and Edward kept his head down, not wanting to make eye contact.

He was so caught up in his thoughts it took him a second to realize that, although he could hear footsteps, he couldn't hear any thoughts. Then the footsteps stopped.

For a second, Edward didn't dare look up.

It couldn't be.

Could it?

He slowly lifted his eyes. And he stopped.

Bella.

She was standing outside the departure lounge, looking like she'd just woken up with her hair a mess and her feet bare. But her heart was thumping a frantic, erratic beat. And her eyes…

The sight of her sent Edward into free-fall, and he didn't know where he was going to land. He couldn't even think what she might be doing here, why they'd been thrown in each other's path again. He couldn't think at all. All he could do, was stare. And feel.

Bella was staring too. There was a tear on her cheek, and Edward wondered why she was crying. Then she lifted her hand, and rubbed at her chest. Like something hurt.

Edward thought he'd been shot through with lightning. He knew that action. He knew that feeling. And he also knew, as Bella clutched her fist over her heart, that she still felt something for him.

Dear God, _she still loved him._

He didn't dare believe it. It was too much to hope for.

Another tear slid down Bella's cheek.

It seemed to Edward that the universe had suddenly been put on hold. He stayed perfectly still, and waited, like that snowy night outside the theatre when he'd told himself that it was Bella's choice, and would always be Bella's choice.

"Fuck that," he muttered. He was done waiting.

He shrugged off his backpack, took one step towards her and then broke into a run. He couldn't get to her quickly enough. Nothing was going to stop him this time and Heaven help anything that got in his way. He wasn't even going to swerve for that trash can. He cleared it effortlessly and kept on running, charging along the concourse, until he skidded to a stop in front of the woman he loved more than his own life.

He took a deep breath, drawing her scent deep into his lungs, and held out his hand. Taking the words she'd used for that goodbye in the woods, Edward used them now for a new beginning.

"Will you walk with me, Bella?"

She was crying as she reached for him. But Edward had to make one thing clear. Very, very clear. "I should tell you," he said. "If you take my hand now, I'll never let you go again."

When Bella smiled and slipped her hand in his, it simply blew Edward's mind.

-oo0oo-

**Bella's point of view…**

There were no words. None at all. Nothing could describe how it felt when Edward pulled me into his arms, crushing me to his chest. It was almost too much. But amongst all the emotion and confusion and excitement, I had a sense that the world had suddenly righted itself, and I'd come home.

"Oh, God… Bella…" My name was a soft moan on his lips, but when he pulled back, there was fire in his eyes. There was something different, and determined about him. He took my face in his hands and the dark emotion in his voice made my knees buckle. "I've tried," he said. "I have tried _so hard_, to stay away. To give you what you asked for. But not anymore. You _are _mine. And I know nothing has changed. I'm still what I am, and you're still you, but no-one will ever be better for you than me, because no-one will ever love you like I do, or care for you the way I will. _No-one_."

He was breathless, chest heaving, and his words crashed over me like a wave. My heart couldn't keep up with what I was feeling and I thought my chest might burst as it tried.

"I don't want you to let me go," I whispered. "Ever."

I could barely see now, the tears were coming so fast. But I didn't bother wiping them away. Instead I threw my arms around Edward's neck and held on like I'd never let go. I felt his arms encircle me, pulling me impossibly closer.

I wished I had his words, that I could tell him how much he meant to me, but all I could say was "I love you," over and over again.

Edward groaned and, lifting me into his arms, carried me into the departure lounge. He sat in a seat by my bags, and cradled me in his lap.

"I can't believe this," he whispered.

"Me too."

He took my hand again and I stared down at his long, pale fingers linked with mine. My tears slowed, and my breathing calmed, as we sat wrapped around each other.

"There feels like there's so much to say," I said. "But there's also nothing to say."

"I know."

"I have so much to tell you. And so many questions." I rubbed my thumb over his finger. "Like what are you doing here? I want to know about you being a doctor. And, um, the ring," I mumbled. "At the hospital you had a ring. I thought you..." I looked up slowly. "But you're not, are you?"

"No." He smiled a tender smile, and seemed slightly embarrassed. "I wear it to stop a lot of unnecessary attention."

"Oh." Relief went soaring through me. "Does it work?"

"Mostly." But suddenly, he looked kind of shy. "What?" I asked. "Is there something else?"

"There's a lot else," Edward smiled and looked around. "But this probably isn't the place for that conversation." He eased me off his lap, stood up and dragged his hand through his hair, and that familiar little gesture made me smile so wide, it hurt. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Back to Ohio. I'm booked on a flight tomorrow morning."

He nodded, frowning. "Can you cancel it? Do you need to go back so soon?"

"Yeah, I can cancel. I don't have to be back for four more weeks."

"Good." He swallowed hard. "Then if you'll let me, if it's not moving too fast, I'd like to take you someplace where we can talk. Properly talk."

"It's not moving too fast. I'd like to go somewhere and talk, yeah."

"Good," he said again, and smiled. "But first, I'd better get my bag before security finds it and confiscates it. Don't go anywhere." He winked and I laughed, and then he was gone, but before I'd barely registered that fact, he was back again, backpack slung over one shoulder. He gathered up my bag and my guitar case, holding them both in one hand so he could hold mine in the other.  
"You play?" he asked, nodding down at the guitar case.

"Yeah. I started a couple of years ago."

"Are you any good?" he asked, his eyes teasing.

"I'm fantastic."

Edward laughed and pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. "So much to discover," he said as we walked out of the departure lounge, along the concourse, towards the signs that pointed to the exit and taxi ranks.

"So, where are we going?" I asked.

Edward flashed me a breathtaking smile. "Le George Cinq."

**A/N: Looks like there will be one more chapter after all ****J****And more questions will be answered next time.**

**Has anyone ever stayed at the George V Hotel? I've been to Paris, but wasn't lucky enough to stay there, just looked longingly from the outside. Pictures on the internet look gorgeous, though.**

**A lot of people clued in about the ring, but there's a bit more story to why he wears it, and we'll hear about that in the next chapter.**

**HUGE HUGE THANK YOU's to everyone reading, and for all the lovely reviews and PMs. They all mean so much to me, thank you ****J**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**-oooo0oooo-**

Edward spoke to the taxi driver in perfect French as we settled into the back seat. The only words I understood were "please" and "George Cinq".

"Have you been to Paris before?" Edward asked as he took my hand in his.

"When I first arrived in Europe, yeah."  
"Do you like it?" There was so much hope, and anticipation in his eyes.

"I think it's beautiful, but I didn't see very much. Apart from the main things."

"Eiffel Tower? Louvre?"

I nodded. "And Notre dame. The Champs Elysees."  
He smiled and pulled me close against him. I felt his lips against my hair. "I'll show you a different Paris," he whispered.

"Oh? What's that?"

"You'll see." He grinned. And kissed me. A quick, sweet kiss that made me smile and sigh.

"I can't wait."

I knew I probably should have been enjoying the view of the lights outside my window, but I was too busy staring at Edward. It was almost like, if I looked away, he might vanish.

It seemed like only a moment later, the taxi pulled up outside one of the grandest buildings I'd ever seen, and Edward let go of my hand so he could rummage in his backpack and pull out the glasses I'd seen him wearing that night in the hospital.

"They make me look older," he said quietly. "Helpful for hotel check-ins. Less questions."

Older?

I reached up and touched his cheek. "You do look older, but I don't think it's just the glasses." I tilted my head as I studied him. His eyes were curious as he watched me. "You seem older even without them. It's something in your eyes, and your face. Even your walk, now that I think of it. You're…different."

Edward dropped his eyes. "Sometimes life changes people," he said. "Even people like me."

And that was the moment, right then, when I realised exactly what breaking up with Edward had done to him. It was in the timbre of his voice. And the way he held his head, looking away slightly with his eyes downcast.

He hadn't been doing okay.

My heart dropped to my stomach. And then it broke all over again.

Of course I knew leaving him would have hurt, but I'd always thought he'd move on. I was human after all, I was going to die one day. It had seemed cruel, the idea of staying with him for all those decades of worry and guilt, only to leave him alone at the end. But suddenly it was clear that my lie, and my leaving, were even crueller.

I was so confused. That night in the hospital had seemed to support my belief that he'd be okay. He'd been so cool and professional and calm. Almost disinterested. It had seemed clear to me that he'd moved on. No. More than moved on. He'd thrived.

And then tonight when he ran to me in the airport, I'd thought….

I didn't know what I'd thought. That he'd had a sudden resurgence of feeling? I'd been shocked, that was for sure. I think I'd been expecting a smile and a nod, maybe a polite "How are you? What brings you to Paris?" conversation.

That he would run to me, and then declare himself, had been the last thing I'd expected. And when he did…I'd been so overwhelmed that he still loved me, I hadn't stopped to think. At all.

And now, just with his voice, and a look, I saw my lie for what it was, and it loomed up between us, casting darkness over my joy, and soon, over his too.

"Edward, um…"

He held up his finger, asking me to wait. "Let me pay the driver."

The exchange took just a moment. More French. Some smiles. A porter was waiting on the pavement to take our bags.

"Edward…"

He smiled and took my hand and helped me from the car. There was a brief conversation with the Porter and then Edward guided me through the grand front doors into the even grander foyer.

It was like nothing I'd ever seen, the sheer glamour and opulence. But even so, I couldn't really take it all in. My mind was racing. My heart too. Edward looked down at me and frowned. "Are you alright?"

"I think…we need to talk."

He frowned softly. "I know," he said, glancing up towards the ceiling. "Lets get settled, and then…" He gave me an almost sad smile. "Then we can talk." And I got the sense he had things to say, too.

As he checked us in at the desk, I was vaguely aware that he booked two rooms, and he understood the question in my eyes when I tugged on his sleeve.

"I'm not assuming anything," he said quietly to me. "You might want your privacy and space. Especially while you sleep."

I nodded dumbly, thinking that it would be more likely that he'd want space away from me once I told him the truth.

My stomach was a mess of knots, my mind all chaos, as we were escorted to our suite on the top floor. Edward tipped the porter, the door closed, and then we were alone.

The suite was breathtaking. A large living area with elegant, antique-style furniture, leading into a vast bedroom with a magnificent bed, swathed in enormous pillows. It was all powder blues and whites and gold, with chandeliers and views through the windows and French doors to the city lights and the Eiffel Tower.

But despite the beauty, the atmosphere was suddenly tense. The first rush of our joyful, surprise reunion was over and now we were alone, with the past between us. I turned away from the windows, and Edward was standing in the middle of the room. His glasses were gone. His hands were shoved deep in his front pockets. He looked shy, almost seventeen again. He shrugged.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"It's...I'm speechless. It's a beautiful suite, Edward. Thank you."

He smiled. A soft, relieved sort of smile, and took a hesitant step towards me. "When did you realise?" he said quietly. I swallowed hard.

"Realise what?"

"That you still had feelings for me. That you wanted..." He paused. "When did you realise you still wanted me."

"Oh, Edward…" The tears began welling up in my eyes. My heart burned and twisted in my chest. The words fell from my lips without preamble. "I lied that day in the woods. When I told you I didn't want to be with you anymore, that we weren't right for each other, it was a lie. After what had happened, I thought it was for the best, for you, but…" The tears slid from my eyes, spilling onto my cheeks. "But it was all lies. I've always wanted you. My feelings never changed. I've always loved you."

If I'd been hoping he'd pull me into his arms and tell me he understood, I was wrong.

Edward's face was blank. Like I'd just spoken a foreign language. My heart skidded to a halt and I twisted my fingers in the hem of my t-shirt.

"I don't understand." His voice was barely above a whisper. "Why? Why would you do that?" There was confusion in his eyes now and I stumbled over my next words.

"I thought it was the best thing. After Jasper, and my arm, and Carlisle was stitching me up and he talked about your soul and I..."

"My soul?"

I nodded and took a deep, slow breath. "I thought I was saving you."

"Saving me?" His tone was incredulous and my blood felt like ice-water.

"Yes." It sounded so stupid now, I wondered if I'd be able to explain properly, but I tried. I talked about Carlisle, and the conversation about Edward's soul, and how I realised what being with me had done to him, the pain and anguish I'd brought into his life.

Edward was so impossibly still, like he'd turned to stone, I wasn't even sure if he was hearing me. "I…I could see it in your face that night when you drove me home. The guilt. The pain. And I knew it would always be that way for you, while I was human. But if you changed me…" I looked down at my feet. "It doesn't matter what I think, if you think changing me would risk your soul, and mine." I sniffed and blinked back more tears as I raised my eyes. "It tore my heart out that night, to see you that way, and I never wanted to see you like that again, and I'd never risk your soul, so I..."

He held up his hand, stopping me. "So this break-up wasn't about you having a change of heart. It was all about _my soul_?"

"Yes," I whispered.

He inhaled sharply, and shut his eyes. "It was a lie," he murmured. Then he shook his head and began to pace, back and forth between the sofa and the wall where a picture of wildflowers hung. "A lie. It was a lie. The past two years I've _blamed myself_ and believed I _wasn't_ _good enough_…and it was all a _lie."_

"Oh, God, Edward no…" His words were heartbreaking and filled me with a sick sort of panic. I took a step towards him, but he stepped back, out of my reach. "I never meant…you were always good enough, none of it was your fault…please, I'm so sorry."

His eyes were full of shock and anger and wild disbelief as he stared down at me. "Jesus, Bella. _How could you_..." He fisted his hands in his hair. "I don't believe I'm hearing this."

"It seemed like there was nothing else to do," I tried to explain. "And I thought…I thought you'd move on."

His amber eyes snapped wide. "Move on? _Move on?_" He slammed the palm of his hand against the wall. "Bella, I've been through _fucking hell_. I was never going to move on, but I forced myself to make some sort of life because it's what you wanted for me. Any moving on I did was for you. Because you made me promise." He pushed away from the wall. "You put me, _us_, through this, because of a lie? Because you thought you knew best?"

"I'm so sorry." The tears trekked down my face but I didn't wipe them away.

"You talked to Carlisle, _why didn't you talk to me?"_

"I should have, I know, but…" I swallowed hard. "You're not always the best listener, Edward."

Edward dragged both hands through his hair as he stared at me, like he was seeing me for the first time. The anger slowly faded from his face, but the pain in his eyes nearly killed me. "I stood on a footpath in Montana, willing you to cross the road to me. Begging you silently to come to me. I think I would have fallen to my knees, if you had. But when you didn't, I thought it was because you'd moved on. That you probably wanted the boy who was with you."

Oh my God. That night outside the theatre. "I wanted to cross too," I said quickly. "I really did. And there was nothing between me and Daniel. But you seemed so cool and…_distant_, and just waved and I thought you'd...moved on."

"Cool?" He swore again, under his breath this time. "Trust me. There was nothing cool going on there." He shook his head and dropped his hands. Leaning against the wall, he sank to the floor. Elbows on his knees, he rested his head in his hands. "But I didn't want to spoil things for you. Besides, you already had my heart, my soul...my dignity was all I had left. So when you didn't come, I walked away."

He was so still now. I hugged myself, wishing it was Edward's arms around me and wondering if I'd ever feel his embrace again. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done," I whispered. "Breaking up with you. I was actually surprised you believed me. After all the times I'd told you I loved you..."

"But it never made sense for you to love me," he said flatly. "Since that first day in the meadow, I'd been waiting for the moment you'd come to your senses, realise I was a monster." He screwed up his face, as though in pain, then gave a dark, brittle laugh. "You went straight for the jugular the day you said goodbye, Bella. And you hit your target square on."

Oh, God, this was killing me. And him. The anguish in his face.

"And okay, I know I wasn't the best boyfriend in the world," Edward continued, staring at the wall opposite, his hands fists on his knees. "I was controlling. I forced you to go to prom. I forced the birthday party on you and fuck, haven't I regretted that every day since? I've had over two years to reflect on every single day of the time we were together, and I know the mistakes I made, the things I'd change if I could, but I _never_ lied to you. Not like this. Not about my feelings." He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "You are the one person I've been the most honest with."

The hurt in his voice, broke me. I sank onto the floor too. "If I could take it all back, Edward, I would. In a heartbeat."

I didn't think I'd ever been more scared than at that moment. The possibility of losing Edward again filled me with such dread and fear, I could barely breathe.

He closed his eyes and leant his head back against the wall. "What made you think I'd get over you and move on? Did you really expect me to forget?"

The carpet beneath me was thick and I twisted my fingers into its strands as a cold, quiet panic crept through me. "I knew you wouldn't forget, and I knew it would hurt at first, but I thought, in the span of your life, we were just six months out of a hundred years. I thought, in time, you'd be okay."

He was so still. And I was barely breathing. The room was so quiet, so tense, I almost jumped when he spoke.

"I have a soul, Bella. I found it one night on an autobahn in Germany. The motorbike usually takes me out of myself for a while, but this time you were still on my mind." He sighed, and winced a little. "I almost crashed when I realised I couldn't love you the way I do, without one. A soul, that is. The skid marks are probably still on the road."

Oh my God. A weird mix of joy and shock flared through me, and again, I didn't know what to say. While I was trying to find the right words, Edward stood up suddenly. He strode across the room to where the over-stuffed sofas were arranged, and grabbed his backpack. Shit, what was happening?

"I meant what I said in the airport. About not letting you go," he said. "But right now I need some time. And space." He snatched up a key from the delicate, spindly-legged side-table, and walked out the door. A second later I heard a slam from across the corridor. He'd obviously gone to the spare suite.

I sprawled out on the carpet and started to sob, his words ringing in my ears. The pain of knowing how much I'd hurt him was tearing me apart, but I tried to focus on his words about not letting me go again. And the fact that he'd found his soul.

And I knew, if he forgave me and gave me another chance, I'd never leave his side.

The door of the suite looked so very closed. And I felt so alone. The carpet was wet beneath my cheek and I wondered how my life had gone from 60 to zero so quickly. My heart felt bruised and broken, my mind was like sludge. Like I couldn't think anymore.

There was an antique clock on the coffee table and it chimed two o'clock. I watched as the hands moved on to 2.05, 2.10…

At 2.45 the door opened and I sat up. Edward stood in the doorway, his expression fierce, hair more dishevelled than usual. His hands were fisted at his sides.

"I would have done the same," he said.

"What?"

"I would have done exactly the same." He shut the door and came into the room. He crouched down in front of me, his eyes burning. "That night when I drove you home, I couldn't see any way forward either. I was convinced you would have been better off if you'd never met me and if you hadn't burst into tears like you did, I probably would have come to the conclusion that I had to leave you."

"You…you were going to break up with me?"

He exhaled sharply, bowing his head. "I don't know. Yes. Probably. Like I said, there was a time in the truck where I couldn't see any way we could have a future together. So yes. In the frame of mind I was in, I would have left. To save you. And I probably would have lied to do it."

My heart felt cold. The thought of Edward being the one to say goodbye in those woods, telling me he didn't want me anymore…

I didn't think I would have survived that.

I reached up to touch his cheek, my movement hesitant, unsure how my gesture would be received. But Edward covered my hand with his, nuzzling my palm. Relief shot through me like lightning. Against his cold skin, my hand felt strangely warm. My tears started again. Gently this time.

"Why did my crying change things?"  
He looked up. "It was like the first real, sensible reaction you'd ever had about me, or my kind. And when you said you'd let me lead in anything to do with vampires, I thought maybe we could make things work after all. If you listened to me and if I listened to you. Really listened." He gave me a small, sad smile. "I was going to tell you that when I came to the house the next afternoon."

"Edward…"

"Ssh…" He pulled me into his lap and we sat on the expensive carpet, surrounded by backpacks, both looking like something the cat dragged in, crying as we stared at the million dollar view. "I understand why you did it," he said. "You loved me enough to let me go."

I nodded, more tears escaping onto my cheeks.

"And you hurt yourself too, in the process. You broke your own heart, because you thought you were saving mine."

"I'm so sor…"

He shook his head, touching his finger to my lips. "Like I said, I would have done the same. But promise me something?"  
I nodded eagerly.

"Don't _ever _lie to me again. Talk to me, okay? Don't try to save me. Just…talk to me. _Please._"  
"I promise. And you'll listen when I talk, okay?"  
"I promise."

I buried myself against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breaths as his arms encircled me. And I held on, hard.

"What happens next?" I asked.

"We start again," he said. "Together."

"I'm never going to let you go," I said. "Not if I live a thousand years."

"A thousand years," Edward murmured, and kissed my temple. His fingers traced the veins in my wrist, and his eyes followed their path, meandering tenderly over the pale blue lines. "You know, the soul thing isn't an issue anymore. For me, anyway." He lifted his gaze, and the meaning was clear in his eyes. A wide smile stretched across my face, while my heart started dancing in my chest. This was almost too much to take in. "I wasn't going to mention it so soon," he said. "I didn't want to overwhelm you, but given the conversation we've just had, I thought you should know." He shrugged. "Forever won't be long enough, for me, Bella, I know that now. So, if you still feel like you once did..." He kept his eyes on mine as he lifted my hand, and kissed the inside of my wrist. I thought my heart was going to break out of my ribcage.

"My feelings are unchanged," I whispered.

He leant in close and now he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that was full of love, and promised forever. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down, answering his kiss, my lips telling him yes. He moaned, and his lips left mine and trailed over my throat.

"Whenever you're ready," he whispered. "I'll wait."

We stayed like that for ages. Just sitting on the floor, curled around each other, kisses and gentle touches. A quiet coming together. Re-acquainting. But there was also the deep understanding that we belonged together. And though we were both new to each other in some ways, in other ways it was like we'd never been apart.

"You know," Edward said after a while. "I think, in some ways, breaking up was good for us."

"Are you serious?" I looked up and he was nodding.

"I'm serious." He tucked some stray hair behind my ear. "I don't think we could have gone on the way we were."

I wanted to disagree with him. I even opened my mouth to say so, but the words didn't come. Instead, I thought of who I'd been then, and who I was now.

"You wouldn't be Dr Cullen, would you?"

"And you wouldn't have travelled the world."

"You mightn't have discovered your soul."

He sighed heavily. "You're probably right. I wouldn't have."

"I've missed you every day," I whispered.

"You were never out of my thoughts."

He kissed the top of my head. "I never asked, why you chose the middle of the semester to come to Europe. Shouldn't you be in school?"

So I told him about coming back from Chicago, after seeing him in the hospital, thinking him married, and then finding his gift gone from the airport parking station.

"It was like the last straw," I said. "And I wanted to get away. Oh! I didn't say thank you!" I sat up straight, nearly banging my head on his chin. "Thank you for the car. Thank you so much."  
But he wasn't really listening. When he spoke, the words were ground out through gritted teeth.

"_Someone stole the Hummer_?"

"Um…yeah."

There was more swearing from Edward. Quietly and under his breath, but I still caught it. "I had anti-theft software put in to cut the engine if anyone tried. How…"

"I don't know," I said quickly, rubbing his arm to calm him. "I don't know. It was just gone. The police never found it."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "If I'd known…" He shook his head. "What did you do? What are you driving now?"

"Nothing. I was pretty cut up about it when it happened. Like I'd lost you all over again and when the insurance money came in…"

"You flew out."

"Exactly." I kissed his cheek. "That car meant a lot to me, thank you. And the little card?"

His eyes softened. "Yes?"  
I got up out of his lap, went to my backpack, and took out my wallet. "It's in here," I said, tugging it carefully from it's place. "It's always with me."

Edward sighed. And smiled. Sitting on the floor, hair everywhere, he looked like the boy I'd kissed in the meadow. "You kept it?"

"I always will." I tucked it carefully back in its place. "It was a shock, when I found it and realised the car was from you."

"Your father returned the birthday gifts to the house," Edward said. "I was there and I saw his thoughts, the conversation with you about your truck. I decided then that I'd do one last thing for you."

I started to smile too, but something occurred to me from out of the blue. "Did you buy my truck?"  
His smile became a smirk. "You did! You bought my truck! Oh my God, I thought ten thousand seemed a lot, but Charlie said it was a collector and…" I waved my hand around as I tried to remember. "Something about it being rare or hard to find. It was you, wasn't it?"

"Technically, it was a Mr Jenks. But it was arranged by me, yes. I was going to make it more, but I thought it might make Charlie suspicious and we don't need the police sniffing around Jenks."

I was instantly intrigued. "Who is he?" I asked, coming back to Edward. I was going to sit in his lap again, but he stood, and led me to the sofa. We sank into the soft cushions and he rested his head on my shoulder.

"He's like a family solicitor, I suppose. Jasper deals with him mostly. Organising passports, birth certificates, death certificates."

"To keep your cover?"

Edward nodded.

"Is he a vampire?"

"No."

"Does he know that you are?"  
He screwed up his face. "No, not exactly. But he knows there's something different about us. He's not sure what though."

I let out a long breath. "I don't know why I didn't realise it before, about the truck."

My last words were muffled by a yawn that came out of nowhere.

"You're tired," Edward said. "Want to go to bed?"  
I didn't want to move. Didn't want to leave the cradle of his arms, but I couldn't sit there on the sofa all night. Or what was left of the night.

Edward seemed to understand. "I'll stay with you." He pressed a soft kiss to my temple and I nodded.

"But I want a shower first, I think." I scrambled off the sofa reluctantly, and grabbed my toiletries and pj's from my backpack. "I'll be back in a minute," I said, and headed for the bathroom, thinking how it seemed like old times. But not.

The bathroom was an exercise in luxury gone mad. A huge bath sat on a raised platform in the middle of the room. The shower was the size of the elevator that had brought us up here. Everything was marble. I wanted to sink into the tub, but it was late and I was tired so I had a quick shower instead, washing off the tears and the hurt. When I came out, Edward had turned down the bed for me. I smiled as he stood in the doorway.

"Amazing shower," I said. "Will you stay with me?" In a second he was by my side as I slid between the sheets. He pulled the soft, white covers over me, and then laid down beside me. "No. I want you in here with me. Please?"

Edward hesitated.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't want to push. If you're not ready..."  
"Oh I'm ready," he said quickly. "I just…I think I should shower first. And change." He frowned and rubbed his hand over his rumpled shirt. Something was obviously troubling him and now I noticed, for the first time, the small tear at the hem.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

There was more hesitation, and then Edward sat on the end of the bed and told me a horror story about Victoria at the foothills of Volterra. There were goosebumps on my skin when he finished.

"You could have been killed," I whispered, my voice shaking.

"No." Edward shook his head firmly. "She was never a match for me. She was never going to win."

My eyes ran over him, looking for signs of damage, making sure he was alright.

"I'm fine," he said, obviously aware of what I was doing. "I promise."

But new tears were pricking at my eyes. I knelt up on my knees and reached out to touch his chest. "I need to make sure," I said. "I can't bear the thought…"

"Ssh, it's okay." He took my hand, and kissed my fingertips. "I really am fine," he whispered. "Look. I'll show you."

He let go of my hand and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. It swung open, revealing a magnificent torso of smooth, sculpted skin. Edward took my hand again, and placed my palm on his chest. "See?" he said, smiling softly. "All good."

"Very good," I whispered. I moved my hand over his chest, down his torso, caressing and exploring, and my heart skipped when his eyelids fluttered. Then he slowly shrugged the shirt from his shoulders and turned round so I could see the beautiful expanse of his back. He looked at me over his shoulder.

"All in one piece," he smiled.

I trailed my fingers over his shoulder blades, along the bumps of his spine, revelling in this new experience. He'd never let me do this before. My fingers criss-crossed over his skin, moving lower, down to the shallow dimples of his lower back. He shivered when I touched him there, and it sent my heart racing.

"Do I pass inspection?" he asked softly.

"You'll do."

He chuckled. "And now I really should shower if I'm going to share the bed with you." He started to climb off the bed, when I spoke.

"The purple smoke."

Edward whirled around. "What?"

"My friend Hugh. We'd been travelling together and he wanted to go to Volterra after Rome, but…"

Edward's pale face became ashen. Almost grey. "You didn't go?"  
"No," I shook my head. "I remembered what you'd said about the Volturi and I tried to talk Hugh out of it but he went anyway. He sent me a text last night, with a photo of purple smoke. Was that, um, _her_?"

Edward nodded, and then suddenly he was scrambling over the bed to get to me, snatching me up in his arms and pressing me so hard against his bare chest that I could barely breathe. "Thank God you didn't go. Thank God."

"It's okay, it's okay. Um, need air."

He pulled back quickly, his eyes giving me a once-over like I did him. "I'm fine, Edward. I went nowhere near there. Instead I tried to fly out of Rome for home, but…"

"There were freakishly high winds," he murmured.

"Er, yeah. So I got the train to Paris."

"I got the train to Geneva. But mechanical problems put it down at Paris." He blinked at me. "The hospital. Montana. You went to Disneyworld, I saw you in someone's thoughts when they were talking about their vacation."

"I heard a girl talking about you in a nightclub. You and your motorbike."

"And then came Italy," he smiled.

"And freakishly high winds," I giggled.

Edward flopped back on the pillows and threw his arm over his face. "Ah, Bella, do you think fate was trying to tell us something all along?"

I flopped down beside him and stared up at the ornate, patterned ceiling with its chandelier. "I thought the universe was trying to show me you'd moved on. But maybe you're right and it was telling us just the opposite. And we were too stupid to realise."

Edward held up his hand and I clasped it in mine. "So, maybe we were meant to be?" he asked. His other arm was still over his face, and he peeked out from beneath his elbow.

"I'd say so."

He sighed. "The universe went to a lot of trouble to get it's point across."

"We should probably do as it bids, or who knows what could happen."

Edward smirked a little. "So for the safety of mankind, we'll stick together."

"I think it's our duty."

"Nothing about being with you, will ever be a duty," he whispered, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a blush roar across my cheeks.

"So Alice saw Victoria telling the Volturi about me. Did she ever see me? At all?" Edward shook his head.

"No. Hardly anything at all. We're not sure why."

"Do you think…her visions are based on people's decisions, right?"

Edward nodded.

"So, if I've been pretty much indecisive these past couple of years. Like, not really sure where I was headed, could that be why?"

A soft frown clouded Edward's face. "That could be it, yes. Is that how you felt? Indecisive?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Kind of rudderless. Like I was looking for something, but didn't know what."

"What about the teaching?"

"I love the teaching," I said, smiling. "That's about the only thing I've felt sure of."

Edward brought our clasped hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles, his lips pressing tenderly against my skin. Such a gentle touch. Such gentle hands. Caring hands.

"Tell me about the hospital," I said softly.

"Ah, that," Edward smiled. "That was because of you."

"Me?"

He nodded, his eyes growing very soft as he rolled on his side to face me. "You made me promise to move on. You said…" He stopped, and swallowed hard. "You said I had a lot of love to give, and if I found someone who loved me, I should let them."

I wasn't sure where this was going, but I kept tight hold of his hand and nodded for him to continue, bracing myself for whatever he was going to say.

"I knew there would never be anyone else," he said. "You are it, for me. But you had opened up a whole new part of me I hadn't known existed. So that love you wanted me to share…" He paused again and bit his lip. "I put it into being a doctor. Helping others. It was the only way I could keep my promise to you."

I didn't know what to say. I was afraid if I opened my mouth I'd start crying again, and there had been enough tears.

"And I found out that I was actually suited to it," he said, smiling. "More than I'd thought. In a way, I felt like I'd found a proper place in the world. Sort of."

"And the blood doesn't bother you? You always said you wouldn't be strong enough to handle it."

"If I can resist _your_ blood…" he chuckled darkly. "Which, by the way, does something different to me now."

"Really? What?"

He ran his nose along my jaw, inhaling deeply. "Your scent is all about the future, and hope." He pressed his lips over my jugular. "It still burns, but I barely notice it. My instinct to love you, and keep you, and protect you, is far more powerful."

He pulled back. I was breathless, wanting more. He smiled and kept talking. "So with two real medical degrees under my belt, Jasper and I forged some documents, then we hacked into the computer records of Harvard, and the next thing you know, I've got some new, up to date qualifications."

"That's so illegal," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered back.

I looked down at our hands. "What happened that night at the hospital?" I asked. "You knew I was there, didn't you? Before you walked into the emergency bay?"

Edward let out a long breath, and nodded. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "I saw you in the nurse's thoughts. And George's. I thought at first I should let someone else take care of Bradley's arm, but then I wasn't going to give up the chance to see you again." He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "As soon as I pulled back the curtain, I could smell the scent of another man all over you. His scent, and his cologne. He'd held you close, and recently."

"No," I said, shaking my head, confused. "There was no other man…oh wait…" The memory of that night came back in a rush. "Jeff," I said, and Edward shot me a quick side-ways glance. "One of the other teachers. He hugged me when I volunteered to take Bradley to the hospital." I rolled my eyes. "He wasn't good with things like that."

Edward smiled wryly. "Ah," he said. "I see. I thought…"

"I was with someone else."  
He nodded and looked away. "You seemed very together," he said. "In control. I knew the blood was effecting you, your heart was all over the place and you were pale and sweating, but you didn't let it get to you." He looked back at me. "I was impressed."

"I didn't feel very together." I traced my fingers over his. "Especially when I saw the wedding ring."

He frowned a little. "Like I said, that was to avoid unwanted attention."  
"But there's something more, isn't there?" I suddenly wondered where he'd got it. Or if someone had given it to him. "Was it your father's?"  
He shook his head. "It wasn't common for men to wear wedding rings back then."

"So, you bought it?"

He nodded, looking down at our hands, too. "I was visiting my family just before I started at the hospital. Kate was staying with them."

"Kate?"  
He looked up. "She's like me. One of our Denali cousins. She was staying and she said…" He paused and gave a wry smile. "She said I would look like a lame-o loser if I went on my own to buy a wedding ring. So she offered to come with me."

"Was she pretending to be your, um…"

"She was just with me, that was all. For appearance sake. So I didn't look pathetic." He chuckled. "That was the other word she used. Kate always says what she thinks."

"She sounds like Rosalie." Edward shook his head.

"She's funnier than Rosalie. Her jibes are all in good humour."

I smiled. I liked the sound of this Kate.

"So she went with you?"

"She did. And she tried to talk me into buying something with engravings, or edged with titanium, but I just pointed to the first plain gold band I saw. It was too small, so the jeweller said he'd make it bigger, but it wouldn't be ready until the next day."

I ran my fingers between Edward's, feeling their smoothness, wishing it had been me with him.

"Did Kate go back with you to pick it up?"

"No," he said. "I went alone, and the jeweller's wife was there, behind the counter." He smiled. "Her name was Maureen and she was very sweet. A genuinely good, kind person, from her thoughts to her smile. You don't find many people like that. Anyway, she brought out the ring, slid it on my finger to check the fit, and asked when I was getting married." Edward rolled his eyes. "I felt awkward then, and because she was so nice, I found myself telling her the truth, that it was a prop. She laughed and said I wasn't the first person to do something like that. But she was as perceptive as she was kind, and in her thoughts she wondered if there was more to the story." He frowned softly. "She asked if there was someone special, and that was why I didn't want attention from anyone else. I was about to say no, but I looked down at the ring, and realised then it wasn't just about keeping others away. It was about keeping you close. It was a visible sign of my commitment to you."

Fresh tears stung at my eyes. "What did you say to Maureen?"

"I said there was someone, and she asked me about the lucky lady. I told her the lucky lady was very beautiful."

"Oh…" I sniffed and giggled and Edward grinned at me.

"Your nose is red," he said and I rolled my eyes. So much for beautiful.

"So…" Edward continued. "When Maureen asked for the ring back so she could put it in its box, I said no, and it's been on my finger ever since. Well, until I got on the train yesterday and noticed a gouge in the gold." He sighed. "_Is _it pathetic?" he asked.

"No." I smiled. "Not at all. Not pathetic."

He smiled too, and ran his hands through my hair. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too. Forever."

I kissed over his collar-bone and felt, rather than heard, the purring deep in his chest. His hands roamed over my back, slipping beneath my tank top, his fingers stroking gently over my skin as he pressed himself closer. Suddenly, he pulled back.

"I should shower," he murmured. "But I'll be back." He got off the bed and I sat up, the beautiful linen sheet rumpling around my waist. He paused at the foot of the bed. His eyes roamed over me, appreciative and admiring, and I felt beautiful under his gaze. Beautiful, and desired.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

I could feel the rush of blood to my cheeks as I spoke my next words. "You said once that it wasn't possible for us to, um…while I was human…" I stopped. What was I doing? Was I going too far, too soon? "Never mind," I said, and smiled.

I expected him to go and shower then, but he didn't. Instead he cocked his head, watching me closely.

"We've had that conversation before," he said. "When I was a scared, seventeen year old boy who'd just had his first kiss." He smiled, one perfect eyebrow arching gracefully. Then he reached for his backpack, swung it over his naked shoulder and headed for the bathroom. "But things are different now, Bella," he said. "And I'm not seventeen anymore."

He grinned as I gasped and my body tingled as he shut the door. A second later I heard the shower start, and Edward singing. I snuggled down into the bed, smiling wide, wriggling my toes, giggling as I stared at the Eiffel Tower, and quietly sang along with him.

I thought of all the ways fate had thrown us in each other's path, and how it had finally brought us back together. I knew there was a still a way to go, but I had the feeling Paris was going to be a life-changer.

-ooo0ooo-

**A/N: Okay, I know I only said 3 chapters. And then five chapters. But I'm verbose, you know, so there will be one more chapter after this.**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews and feedback, I truly appreciate it all : ) There were some readers who felt Bella was getting off too easily with her lie after their happy reunion in the airport last chapter, but Edward didn't know then that she'd lied. And this was always the plan – happy reunion, then her confession and its fall-out : ) : )**

**Any thoughts on what Edward was singing? In my mind, it's an INXS song, "Never Tear Us Apart".**

**Next, and final chapter should be up in the next week or two : )**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

My eyes opened slowly, just a gentle crack, as sleep gave way to hazy consciousness. Brilliant sunshine spilled over the quilt of an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. A magnificent room. Like something in a palace. For a moment I wondered where I…

"Oh no." I groaned and sat up. Across the room, sitting on a velvet sofa with his bare feet propped on the Regency-style coffee table, Edward was staring at me. There was surprise on his face, and a laptop on his thighs.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his surprise shifting to concern. "Bella?"

"What time is it?"

"Just before noon."

Noon? Seriously?

"Did I fall asleep last night?" Edward smiled as I mumbled through a yawn. "After you went into the bathroom? Because I can't remember you coming back out." And I was pretty sure I would remember that. Edward's lips twitched, trying not to laugh. "Oh, I did, didn't I?" I groaned again and flopped back on the pillows. "I did. I fell asleep." How was that possible? On the night Edward takes off his shirt and tells me he's not 17 anymore? _How?_

Edward chuckled softly and set the laptop aside. "I heard the snoring while I was in the shower."

"Oh! I didn't snore!" I grabbed the pillow next to me and threw it at him, hard. It didn't even make it to the end of the bed.

"No, you didn't snore," he said, still smiling. "You didn't even talk. Not a word. I was almost disappointed." Then his smile slipped. He cocked his head and suddenly I was caught in his gaze – his amber eyes intense as they held mine. "How are you today?"

How was I? What a loaded question. And there was a sudden flurry of butterflies in my stomach as Edward watched me, a deeper meaning in his eyes, and I wondered if we were about to pick up where we left off last night. Or if there was something else on his mind. In the hours since I'd fallen asleep, with the first heady rush of reunion behind us, had he started overthinking, and fallen back into his old frame of mind? Was that why he was on the sofa instead of sharing my pillow?

"If you're wondering if I feel differently about things we said last night, now that we're in the cold light of day…I don't." His expression didn't change as he still kept watch. "My feelings are the same. But…" I took a deep slow breath and stretched my arms above my head, "if you're asking about how I feel after finding you again, and having a deep sleep…I feel good." I smiled and stretched some more, arching my back now, hoping I looked vaguely seductive. "Really good." The effect though, was spoilt a little when I let out another yawn. Even so, I still saw Edward's eyes darken, even from across the room. The butterflies in my stomach went into overdrive.

Edward set the laptop aside, stood up and came towards the bed. In a white t-shirt and very faded blue jeans, he looked gorgeous, and I realised it was probably the most casual I'd ever seen him. Especially with his hair all over the place.

He placed one knee on the foot of the bed and leant forward, his hands sinking into the quilt, and then slowly prowled his way up to me, his dazzling amber eyes holding mine all the time. The way he moved, the graceful roll and rhythm of his body, was like nothing I'd seen from him before. There was a new confidence. There was also something other worldly about him. But that other-worldliness evaporated when he reached the pillows, because he flipped over and flopped heavily onto his back, almost bouncing me out of the bed.

"Hey!"

He laughed, and rolled towards me. "Are you properly awake now?" he asked.

"Very." I grinned back at him. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"Don't be. You were exhausted," he said. "It had been a long day. And a long night."

"So, we're good, then? You and me? What we said last night…"

"I meant every word." He took my hand and pressed his lips to my knuckles, and then my palm. "Every. Single. Word." He trailed his kiss over the inside of my wrist as he looked up at me through his lashes. "And right now, all I want is to move forward, begin a new life with you, starting today, and everything else will fall into place – whether I move hospitals to be with you, or you transfer colleges to be with me, it'll all work out."

"Starting today?"

He ran his nose lightly along my jaw. "Starting now."

I didn't hesitate. I took his face in my hands and kissed him. Kissed him hard. And he didn't pull back. He came to me, hungry and eager as he kissed me back, and though he was still careful with me, he wasn't as careful as he used to be. I thought my heart might explode when he moaned, and his lips parted mine.

From somewhere, came the vague sound of a phone ringing. I ignored it. So did Edward. He kept right on kissing me like there was no tomorrow, his body pressed the length of mine, as close as he could get. The feel of him, hard against my hip, made me gasp. He groaned my name, and that he loved me.

The phone kept ringing. And ringing. Until Edward finally pulled back with a different sort of groan.

"You need to get that?" I asked, hoping he'd say no, but guessing he'd say yes. My ardour started to cool, just slightly.

Edward rubbed his hand over his face. "It's the hospital," he sighed. "I spent a lot of last night emailing back and forth about a patient. Mr Arnstein. His case is complicated but the issue should have been sorted out by now."

So that explained why he was on the sofa last night.

"But you should still answer it?"

"I should, yes."

"Then go. Go and help Mr Arnstein." I gave him a gentle push.

"It'll only take a minute," he said. "And then I'll let them know I'm out of contact for the next couple of days."

He moved from the bed to the sofa and resumed the position he'd been in when I'd woken up – feet on coffee table, computer on lap, but now he also had his phone at his ear. I sat up and hugged my knees.

This was different. Very different.

I wasn't used to seeing Edward with other, outside demands for his attention. Back in Forks it had just been him and me in our own little bubble. Seeing him like this, with a real life established outside of me and our relationship, was strange. I studied him as he spoke quietly into the phone. He was confident and sure; a man in charge as he gave instructions in detailed medical terms. I recognised some of them. Things I'd heard in TV shows and from my own experience in numerous ERs. At the same time he was tapping something out on the laptop. I realised, as I watched him, that this might be a common occurrence in the future, with his job interrupting our personal time. But I didn't feel bothered by the thought. In fact, I liked it.

He ended his call after a moment, but continued working on the laptop. "Just give me another minute," he murmured as he typed. "I'll just send this new treatment plan through to them, and then I'm all yours. I promise."

"Edward?"

"Mm?" He looked up.

"We're going to have a real place in the world, aren't we? Real lives, doing real things, not living in shadows and pretending."

He smirked a little. "I think living in the shadows will still be necessary. If we're in sunny places anyway."

"You know what I mean," I said, rolling my eyes. "I won't have to hide away, or repeat highschool over and over. If you and Carlisle are doctors, I can teach, right? Or maybe do social work, because I've considered that too." Especially since being involved with Bradley and the program at his school.

"I don't see why not," Edward said, smiling. "There'll be limitations, of course, it would take careful planning. And it could take some time before you're ready to be around humans, but time is something you'll have plenty of. We'd have to look at schools in the right sort of locations, or you could even teach night classes. And Esme's been involved with social work over the years. Sometimes through charities, other times working at shelters."

"Really? I didn't know that."

Edward glanced away. "It's something close to her heart," he said quietly and I got the idea there was more to Esme's story he wasn't telling me. And curious though I was, I didn't push him to say more.

"So, yes, you're right," Edward said, looking back to me. "About having a place in the world. And the sky's the limit, as long as it's cloudy. In fact, none of my family are in highschool anymore." He smiled at my surprise.

"What are they all doing? Are they in Chicago with you?"

"No, Rochester," he said. "Would you like the quick run down?" When I nodded he started ticking things off on his fingers. "Carlisle is at the local hospital. Esme and Alice have started an online interior design business together. Rose and Emmett buy, restore, and sell vintage cars."

"Wow, everyone really has moved on. I'd thought…actually I don't know what I though. What about Jasper?"

"He's writing a book about the Civil War, though right now he's helping me sort out the mystery of your Hummer."

"My Hummer?"

Edward nodded. His eyes narrowed slightly and his tone hardened. "That car shouldn't have been stolen so I've got my suspicions about the anti-theft software that was installed. Jenks arranged it at my instructions, so I wasn't there when it was actually fitted."

It took me a moment to realise what he was getting at. "You think they ripped you off? Installed something less than what you paid for?"

He shrugged, a little too casually. "It's a possibility. I've been on the phone overnight with Jasper and with Jenks. The two of them are looking into it now."

"But if the car's gone, how will you be able to know what was installed?"

"There are ways." Edward flashed me a wide smile, using all his teeth. It was the sort of smile that would send shivers down spines, and make liars tell the truth.

"Oh. I get it. You'll get Jasper to go vamp on them."

"Jasper or me. And only if it gets that far. I'm hoping Jenks will report back with a story of human error and similar product codes and the offer of a full refund. But we'll see."

Edward was quiet while I let all this new information sink in – the Cullens with careers, and my missing Hummer. And then, something else occurred to me.

"So your family knows we're back together?"

He looked a little sheepish. "I was going to wait until we were back home, so we could tell them together, but I was anxious to get to the bottom of things with the car and that meant a call to Jasper. He's usually the contact between the family and Jenks and as I don't want to spend too much of our time in Paris playing Sherlock Holmes…" He smiled when I chuckled. "I'll leave it to him, for now. So, yeah, they all know. I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind…"

"Oh no, I don't mind," I said quickly. "What did they say?"

Edward's face broke into a grin. "They're ecstatic," he said.

"Alice didn't already know?"

He shook his head. "Not judging by the squeal that came down the phone when she heard." He chuckled and rubbed at his ear. "Good thing I'm not human, or I'd have a burst ear drum about now." He dropped his hand. "She didn't know. And it's driving her crazy."

"Do you think she'll start seeing things now we're back together?"  
"Maybe." He shrugged, then cocked his head to his shoulder, his eyes speculative. "What is it?" he asked. "You're frowning."

"I was just wondering, why don't you live with your family anymore?"

Edward looked away towards the windows, his face quickly becoming a mask and suddenly I had my answer. The memory of him telling me once that it was sometimes hard living in a house full of happy couples, came rushing back. My heart clenched as I realised how much worse that would have felt, after I left him.

"It's just the way it worked out. I've lived apart from them before." And he gave me a small smile before putting the laptop aside. "But I don't really want to talk about my family, Bella."

He stood up and came towards me, climbing onto the bed like he did before, but this time he didn't bounce me around. Instead he pulled me into his arms. "Do you remember where we were, before we were interrupted?"

"Oh, I think so." I touched the smoothness of his bottom lip with the tip of my finger. "We were right around here." This time it was Edward who didn't hesitate. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me slowly, tenderly, while I tangled my fingers in his hair. His bare feet tangled with mine, the length of him pressed hard against me, I was getting lost in the kiss, in him. His hands moved to my back, slipping beneath my t-shirt and roaming over my bare skin, his fingers exploring the curve of my hip. Suddenly, he pulled back.

"Too much," I asked, breathless. Edward shook his head, and closed his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice strained in just that one word. "Tell me, how far do you want this to go?"

Now I pulled back. "What?"

Edward opened his eyes – dark pools of desire and need. He licked his lips as he tried to catch his breath. "This, us, together like this…how far do you want to go?"

Now I understood and my heart skidded to a halt, before it started up again at triple pace. My answer came quickly and simply.

"As far as you'll take me."

He smiled a small smile, then he laughed softly, almost apologetically, and shook his head before pulling away a little further. He wanted me too, there was no doubt about that, and we'd gone farther than we ever had before, but it was obviously far enough. Disappointment burned through me, but I understood. I pulled back too, and waited for him to tell me that we should slow down, pace ourselves, and probably wait until I was like him. His eyes were earnest and wary as he watched me. "I think…" He hesitated.

"This is too much right now?"

He swallowed hard, his eyes burning into mine. "No. I was going to say that I think we should use condoms."

I almost fell off the bed. Edward's hand snapped out, catching me quickly. "I'm sorry," he said. "Have I gone too far?"

"No, no." I resettled myself on the bed. "It's just…that definitely wasn't what I was expecting you to say." I took a deep breath. "Um, so…"

"I know they're not romantic," Edward's words came quickly. "But I really think we should, for your safety, just in case…my venom…I don't know…you're exposed to a very small amount when I kiss you but, this is different. Very different." He stopped and sighed, frowning as he pulled his hand through his hair. "Am I making sense?"

He was. And the realisation of what he was saying, hit me, and I smiled as I felt a delicious swooping in my stomach. "This is really going to happen?"

He smiled too. Softly, shyly. "I love you too. And I want to show you that love in every way that I can." He paused. "I don't believe I'm a risk to you. My instinct to protect you is stronger than the call of your blood."

"I know. I believe that."

He sighed. "But is it too soon? We've been back together less than a day, but it feels…"

"Right?"

"Yes," he sighed, still smiling. "It feels very right, being with you this way."

I touched his face. "That's your answer, right there."

He kissed my palm, and then climbed gracefully off the bed. "So, I'll go and take care of things. I won't be long." Suddenly he seemed awkward, and I realised what he was getting at.

"Wait, you can't!" I shot a look out the windows. "Not now. It's bright sunlight outside. We can wait until later. When it's dark. It's only a few hours."

Edward smirked. "Are _you _telling _me, _to wait?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Yes, yes, very funny. But you know you can't go now."

"The stores will be closed when it's dark. But there's a pharmacy further down the block, and lots of awnings. If I stay close to the buildings I'll be fine." He pulled a hoodie from his backpack and shrugged into it.

"It's too risky." I climbed off the bed. "I'll go."

"What?" The shock on Edward's face was priceless. "No. No." He gave a very definite and dismissive wave of his hand. "You are not going to buy condoms for me. That's just…not happening. No, this is my responsibility."

He was so serious, like I'd just suggested we commit a crime. It was hard trying to keep a straight face. "Then I'll come with you. We'll buy them together."

"No."

"But…"

"No."

"Please, Bella. Please, leave this to me. Yes?"

"Okay. I'll leave it to you."

"Thank you."

I nodded, and watched him take his wallet from his bag and slide it into his back pocket. Everything felt so awkward now. I didn't know what to do, or even where to look. When I did glance at Edward, he was looking anywhere, except at me.

"Um, so I'll…" I pointed vaguely at the bed. "Wait."

Edward nodded as he flipped his hood over his head. As he did so, he caught my eye. There was a beat of hesitation, and then the ridiculousness of the situation had me smiling. The corner of Edward's mouth twitched, and then we were both laughing out loud.

"Oh God," he groaned and pulled me into his arms, his chest vibrating with his laughs. "This really kills the mood, doesn't it?" I felt his lips against my hair.

"I'm sure we'll get the mood back."

"Oh I'm sure we will," he chuckled. "Is it like this for everyone, do you think?"

"You'd know better than me." I tapped my finger to his temple and he scrunched up his nose.

"I tend to zone out when people's thoughts go down that track."

He let me go, and went back to his bag. When he dug out his glasses, I was engulfed in a fresh round of giggles. Edward smirked. "Anything to make me look less like a desperate teenager." Then his face became serious again. Another whiplash mood change. "I wish I was buying them for the regular reason," he said. "You know, we've never really talked about me not being able to give you children. We haven't properly had that conversation." There was a flash of uncertainty on his features.

"Edward," I closed the few steps between us, and took his hand. "You think I haven't factored that into my decision? Lots of couples can't have kids, we're not unique in that. And what we have together is enough for me. It's everything. I don't need anything more." I kept my gaze on him, letting him see the sincerity in my eyes. "You believe me, don't you?"

A tender smile graced his lips. "I do," he whispered, and leant down to kiss me sweetly on the lips. I reached up, my hands tangling in his hair. He pulled me closer, and then jerked back quickly, holding me at arms length. "If I don't go now…"

"Then go," I giggled. "I'll be here. Waiting."

His chest rose as he inhaled deeply, and then he flipped his hood over his head. "I'll be back." But at the door he stopped and pulled his wallet from his pocket. From inside the leather he took his gold ring and slipped it on his finger. "For appearance sake," he said, shrugging. "I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy."

"No, not old fashioned." The gold band flashed on his finger and now that I understood the reason for it, my heart swelled. And with surprise, I realised that I found that small symbol of commitment very attractive. An even bigger surprise, was that I wished it was for real. "I like it on you," I said. "I like it a lot."

There was a flash of something in Edward's eyes, but then it was gone and he smiled. "I'll be back," he said. "Do you want to order breakfast? Or lunch? The menu is on the side table." And then he was gone, and I was smiling. His sudden reference to something so mundane and everyday as ordering breakfast might seem out of place, but I got why. He was trying to shift the focus and lighten the sudden and surprising intensity of the past few minutes. But the truth was, I didn't think I could eat. There was a gnawing in my stomach, but it wasn't for food.

I hugged myself as I walked around the suite, wondering what to do. Should I get dressed in something sexier? Not that I had anything, but the matching purple bra and undies set might work. Or should I undress completely and climb back into the bed? I had no frame of reference and suddenly I was shaking and my palms were sweaty.

"Calm down, Bella. Clammy isn't a good look."

Shower. I'd have a shower. Yes. And then I'd decide what to do next.

The hot water felt fantastic, running over my body, loosening tense muscles. But it didn't ease my excitement, or anticipation. As I wrapped the towel around myself I decided I'd wear the matching purple underwear, and the complimentary hotel bathrobe.

I stepped into the bedroom, just as Edward walked through the door. He stopped, as if frozen, and stared at me in my towel, with my skin still glistening from the shower, water drops glinting off my shoulders and chest.

The raw desire blazing in Edward's eyes, sent my confidence soaring. And I dropped the towel.

His lips parted as his eyes began a slow, appreciative journey over my naked body. "Oh, Bella," he whispered. "I'm speechless." Then suddenly I was in his arms and being carried to the bed.

He laid me down as if I was the most precious thing in the world, his eyes never leaving mine as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, and removed his jeans. Now it was my turn to appreciate him.

He laid beside me, very still, while I trailed my fingers over his chest and followed the lines and ridges of hard muscle, down to his abdomen and beyond. He closed his eyes and moaned as I took him in my hand. "You have no idea how that feels," he murmured. The muscles quivered beneath his skin and my heart was beating so hard, it hurt. When I told him I loved him, he moaned again, and pulled me to his chest. "I don't think I'm a danger, but if I do anything wrong, if I hurt you, or you're afraid, you must tell me."

I pressed my finger to his lips. "I'll let you know."

He gently rolled me onto my back, kissing my neck and throat. Then his lips, and hands, began a journey of discovery that had me gasping and moaning. I watched the wonder in his eyes as he learned what his touch could do to me, the pleasure he could bring. I closed my eyes, pressing my head back into the pillows as I gave myself up to the sensation…and then…

I felt him. A gentle nudging. _There._

"Bella?"

My eyes flew open. Braced above me, Edward's eyes were on fire, his breathing ragged as he whispered. "Can you feel me, Bella?"

My yes came out on a sigh, and Edward kissed me. "I love you," he murmured, then he wrapped one hand in the sheets. The other hand trembled as he cupped my cheek and pressed his forehead to mine. "I will always love you." Then with a slow, burning thrust, he made me his.

The world disappeared with my gasp. And then it was just Edward and me, and this perfect, perfect moment that would never come again. He was perfectly still, his head nuzzled into my neck as his chest heaved with shuddering breaths.

"Oh, God, Bella…I didn't know…" His voice caught and I clutched his shoulders and savoured the exquisite feel of him deep within me. "I never knew it would feel…_like this_."

I was lost to him then as his body began a slow dance of sensation. My hips met his, the two of us setting a rhythm that burned and swelled and soon had me crying out his name until I shook and shattered, engulfed by wave after wave of mind-blowing pleasure. Edward followed me into the waves, his body trembling, the muscles of his back coiled tight beneath my fingers as he threw back his head and roared my name, before shuddering hard, and falling to pieces in my arms.

I floated back to earth slowly. Like a feather caught on a breeze. Edward curled himself around me, cocooning me, his sweet breath tickling my skin. I nestled into him, breathless and blissed out, and wondered if he felt like I did.

His fingers were stroking my back; a slow, tender caress down my spine, and back up again. I opened my eyes. His were closed, but the sweet, secret smile on his lips told me the story.

Afternoon sun spilled over the bed. Beyond us were the French doors, with their stunning views over Paris, but the sunlit glory paled against the man with the beautiful soul who shared my pillow. I kissed his shoulder and heard the contented hum from deep within his chest.

It was hard to believe that this time yesterday, I was on a train, planning to head home, with no thoughts of ever seeing Edward again. And this time yesterday he had been…

My stomach tightened and dropped as I thought of what he'd told me. That battle with Victoria, in view of Volterra. If something had happened to him…oh dear God, I couldn't even begin to think about that. And he'd done it to save me, to keep me safe, even though I was out of his life. Even though he'd believed my lie, that I didn't want him anymore.

That sudden realisation caught me off guard. It hadn't occurred to me last night when he'd told me, but it hit me now.

He'd believed my lie, but he still would have died for me.

**Edward's point of view…**

There were no words to describe what Edward was feeling. Euphoria probably came closest, but even so, it barely touched the surface.

His body tingled and hummed as he collapsed on the bed beside Bella. He curled around her, basking in her embrace as his soul sang. His heart was still, yet somehow it felt too big for his chest, almost like his feelings couldn't be contained. He'd made love to Bella, shown her with body what he felt in his heart, and he'd kept her safe. The urge to bite had been strong, but the need to keep her safe had been stronger. The sheets were slashed, the pillow torn, but she was safe. And the feeling of being inside her?

There would never be a better feeling.

But despite his joy, there was a practical matter he needed to take care of. In a swift, smooth, one-handed move, Edward removed the protective barrier he'd insisted on wearing, tied it off and wrapped it in a tissue from the mirrored box on the bedside table. Then he dropped the little parcel on the floor before returning his complete attention to Bella, and running his hand gently down her spine.

Edward couldn't believe the turn his life had taken in less than 48 hours. From the ER, to the hillside of Volterra, to the best suite of the George Cinq and the arms of the woman he loved more than his own life. He breathed in her scent, letting it burn him, letting it tell him she was here with him and this was real.

He felt her lips press softly against his shoulder, and he sighed softly. There was so much he wanted to tell her. And something big he wanted to ask. But right now he couldn't find the words, and apart from that, he was slowly becoming aware that all might not be well on the other side of the bed. When he smelt the faint scent of brimming tears, his eyes flew open.

"Bella?"

She was crying.

"Oh my God, did I…did I _hurt you_?" His heart plummeted and anguish flooded his veins as he sat up and threw back the sheets. His eyes ran over her naked body, not with desire or lust, but a thinly veiled panic that was almost crippling.

"No," Bella sniffed and sat up, pulling the sheet over her again. "I'm not hurt," she said. "Not at all. I promise."

"Then what?" Edward was going crazy, waiting for her to tell him. He tried to keep his breathing even, but his fists were clenched tight. "What is it?"

"I think…" The sight of her trembling bottom lip tore at Edward's heart. "I think I'm just..."

"Just what?" Were they happy tears on her cheeks? Edward pulled a desperate hand through his hair. "Bella, please…"

"I love you so much, and I just want you to be happy."

It still wasn't making sense. "I love you too, and I am happy," he said. "Blissfully ecstatic, in fact. At least, I was up until a few minutes ago."

Bella sniffed. "I'm sorry. I'm killing your buzz, aren't I?"

Edward nodded. "A little. I'm just worried." He pulled her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. "I don't know what brought this on…" But a sudden thought sent his heart, and ego, crashing. He closed his eyes and grimaced. "I am happy," he said quietly. "What we just shared was incredible. For me, I don't think life can get any better than that. But I realise now it might not have been the same for you." He took a slow, steady breath. "If I disappointed you…"

"What? No! Oh, God no!" Bella pulled away quickly and stared at him, her face alight with shock. "No. It was perfect. Amazing. It was…" She waved her arms around. "Being with you, I can't even find the words. It's like…Edward, this is the best day of my life."

"Really?" A small smile tugged at Edward's lips and his chest swelled. "The best?"

"Without a doubt. I'm sorry if you thought something different."

"Then why the tears?" He reached out and stroked his thumb across her cheek, wiping them away. As he did, her lip quivered again. When she spoke, her voice was small.

"I hurt you, but you still loved me enough to go and risk your life fighting Victoria to protect me. Even though you thought I'd moved on. You were still protecting me." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I can't believe I did what I did, and that you still…I guess I'm a bit overwhelmed at how much…" Her voice trailed off and Edward pulled her back against his chest again.

"At how much I love you?"

She nodded against him. "And I love you the same, I do, but I don't know how to show you. Or show you how grateful I am for what you did. Or how amazing I think you are." But she didn't need to. Her warm brown eyes shone with endless love that was meant for him. Just him.

"You already have," Edward said. "Bella, _you've_ overwhelmed _me_. The gift you've just given me is beyond anything I ever imagined. Or dared to wish for." He lowered his face and kissed her softly, tenderly, before pulling back and gently nudging her cheek. "And that thing you can't believe you did, you did out of love. I know that. And it brought us to here, and now." His fingers stroked her jaw, running down her neck to her collarbone. "Making love with me was a risk. You didn't just give me your body or your heart today, you gave me your trust, and you don't know what that means to me." He kissed her again, whispering against her lips. "It means everything."

He sighed and laid down again, pulling her with him. "You've trusted me from the start. You accept me as I am. My touch is cold but you've never shied away. You've looked beyond my past and the dark things I've done, and you're willing to give up so much to be with me." He pushed some hair back from her face. "Every second you're with me, trusting me, that tells me how much you love me. It's more than I deserve, but I'll take it." He smiled, and winked, and when Bella giggled it was like music to Edward. He trailed his hand down her side, over her hip and across her belly. "You sure you're okay?"

"Perfect. Totally blissed out." She sighed. "I'm sorry for killing your buzz before."

"You didn't really," he said. "I don't think anything could kill it right now."

Bella giggled again. "Me too. It's been quite a day."

"It has." Edward beamed at her. The mood was light and playful now and brought with it something Edward hadn't anticipated, but was every bit as wonderful as the love he'd just made. It was the quiet joy and precious intimacy in lying naked with his lover, touching and whispering and giggling with her amongst disheveled sheets.

Bella was right. Life didn't get better than this.

She lifted her head and looked around. "Did you turn up the heat in here?"

"When I came back from the store. Just before you blew my mind with the towel thing." Bella smiled, and pressed a kiss to Edward's shoulder.

"How did that go?" she asked. "Was it awkward?"

"Not really. Hardest part was deciding which ones to buy."

"Too much selection?"

He nodded and sighed as Bella nibbled on his ear. His eyes fluttered closed as he murmured, "Ribbed. Form-fit. Regular. Durable. Studded. Coloured. Glow-in-the dark."

Bella laughed. "Oh, glowing condoms! That sounds like fun."

"Not so much in the daytime," Edward smirked as he opened his eyes and glanced at the sunlight playing over the bed. "The sales assistant was on the verge of asking if I needed help and that made me choose pretty quickly because there was no way I was having that conversation."

Bella put on a very bad French accent. "Can I 'elp you, Monsieur?"

Edward rolled his eyes and she laughed again. "But I've just realised," she said, puzzled now. "I didn't even notice when you…I mean…I thought we'd do that together, you know…the..."

"You were distracted, and I was fast," he said, pre-empting the rest of her sentence.

"Oh." She seemed almost disappointed. Edward was suddenly shy.

"Actually, the truth is, I was fairly sure the sight and feel of you doing that would have brought me undone. And I didn't want things to be over before they started."

"Oh," she said again, but differently this time, with a smile. "I see." She gently kissed Edward's throat, and the sensation made him shiver. "What did we use?" she whispered.

"Ultra-thin," he whispered back.

"I like ultra-thin."

"I have more."

"Mm…" Bella threaded her fingers through his. "You kept your ring on."

The plain gold band flashed on Edward's finger. "I didn't think about it," he murmured and went to take it off, but Bella stopped him.

"Don't," she said. "I…I like it."

Those words were some of the sweetest Edward had ever heard.

Bella's cheeks flushed and she lowered her head and started a slow trail of kisses over Edward's chest. He was sure that if his heart could beat it would have been pounding like a freight train. He sighed, and smiled, tangled his fingers in her hair, and simply let himself be loved.

An hour later, Edward felt like he was floating. With a soft, satisfied smile on his face, and Bella lying across his chest, he wondered if he would ever come back to earth.

He had his answer when Bella's stomach growled.

"Damn it." He sat up quickly, but carefully, so as not to jostle her too much. She blinked at him, surprised.

"What's up?"

"You haven't eaten, I'm so sorry." Her stomach grumbled again. "How long since you last ate?"

"Last night in the airport cafeteria. Oh, wait, no…there was that packet of nuts from the vending machine afterwards."

Edward swore under his breath and pulled his hand through hair. "You didn't order room service when I went out earlier."

"I had other things on my mind." Bella smiled and stretched and Edward tried not to notice how her breasts moved as she arched her back, or the way the sheet moved and rumpled around her waist, hinting at what was beneath. But his body betrayed him, and Bella noticed. She ran her fingers down his chest, to the soft trail of hair that disappeared beneath the linen that tented over his hips. "I wasn't hungry." She raked her nails over his skin, just beneath his navel. Edward hissed and growled softly before reaching down to still her hand.

"You need to eat," he said. When her stomach complained again, she agreed. Reluctantly.

"Yeah. You're right. I really am hungry now."

While they waited for room service to deliver her penne with mushrooms and tarragon, Bella went to take a bath and Edward put in place the plans that he'd been mulling over the last few hours. With a towel wrapped around his hips, he made a few quiet calls and hoped this wasn't going to backfire. He was going with his instincts, like he did when he saw her standing there in the airport terminal, and again when he told her he wanted to make love to her. So far, his instincts hadn't let him down.

With his calls done, and arrangements in place, Edward followed the smell of bubble bath. He leant, smiling, in the ensuite doorway. Bella was up to her chin in bubbles and she blew some towards him from the palm of her hand.

"How's the water?" he asked.

"Amazing." But Edward felt the slightest moment of apprehension when she slowly slid beneath the surface. She came up again, blinking hard and sniffing. "I don't usually do the bubble bath thing and that's probably why – they go up my nose."

Edward laughed and when Bella extended her hand and suggested he join her, he didn't have to be asked twice. He shed the towel and climbed into the bath, facing her. She wound her legs around his and splashed him a little. He splashed back. She laughed.

"Will it always be like this?" she asked.

"Like what? Bubble baths in the George Cinq?"

"No." She blew more bubbles at him, and he blew some back at her. "I mean, being so happy it hurts."

"I hope so."

"You have bubbles in your hair, Edward."

He grinned and splashed her. "I'm not surprised."

Bella sighed and ran her foot along his calf. "I'll come to Chicago," she said. "You're needed at the hospital and I don't have any real ties where I am. I'll put in for a transfer when we get home."

"Are you sure? You don't have to decide right now."

"I know, but it's what I want."

Edward reached out and gently clasped her wrist. He pulled her to him, spinning her around until her back was pressed against his chest and she was nestled between his thighs. She gave a contented hum, and rested her head back against his shoulder. He could feel his body stirring, and he wondered what it would be like to make love to Bella in the bath, but his fantasy was interrupted by some thoughts out in the hall. He shifted Bella gently, kissed her forehead and stepped out of the bath.

"Your lunch is here," he said.

It was closer to dinner, actually. By the time Bella had had her full of mushroom penne, the long shadows of dusk were streaming through the windows. She smiled as Edward pulled on a clean pair of jeans.

"So we're going out?"

"In a while," he said. "I'm taking you to see my Paris. By moonlight. Like I promised."

Hand in hand, they strolled along the Seine and wandered through some twilight markets. Then Edward led the way through a labyrinth of narrow laneways, until they reached a small jazz club, tucked away and dimly lit.

"This club has been here for almost a hundred years," Edward said. He opened the door set with an elaborate metal grill, and they were met with music and smoke haze.

"Oh," Bella said quietly. "Oh."

The place was small and lamp-lit. Etched mirrors and pochoir prints on the walls. On a slightly raised platform in the corner, two men were playing guitar while a woman sang. Maybe a dozen people sat scattered at the well-worn tables, or the long dark-wood bar.

"What do you think?" Edward asked.

"It's like I've gone back in time," Bella said. "Not like they've tried to reproduce the 1920s, more like it's never left."

It was a fair assessment, Edward thought. "Salvador Dali used to come here," he said. "And F Scott Fitzgerald. Separately, not together. But you won't find this place on the list of their haunts that tourists like to follow."

"I can just imagine," she said. "How do you know they came here?"  
Edward lowered his head and whispered in her ear. "Because I saw them."

Bella's mouth fell open. "I guess…um…okay I know it's possible for you but…wow..."

Edward chuckled and pulled her into his side. "I'd come for the music and stay for the conversation."

"You _talked_ to them?"

"No. I listened to them talk to others. I was just a vaguely mysterious loner who sat in the corner."

Bella's eyes were huge. "That must have been incredible."

"It was interesting."

"What did they talk about?"

"Random things. Art. Life. The escalating cost of white bait."

"They talked about the price of fish?"

"Dali did. Would you like to stay for a while?"

When Bella nodded, Edward guided her to a table in the corner and they held hands as they listened to the music and soaked up the atmosphere. This club had always been one of his favourite places, and he was ridiculously happy he could share it with her.

"She has an amazing voice," Bella murmured in Edward's ear. "I don't speak French, but I don't think I need to, to understand what she's singing about. They're all love songs, right?"

Edward nodded, and smiled as Bella nestled closer into his side.

There were things carved into the table top – initials, patterns…and Bella traced them with her finger. "Looks like lots of people have left their mark over the years," she said. "The management musn't be too worried about it."

"I think management like it," Edward said. He took her hand and moved her finger over two initials near her elbow.

_EM_

Bella looked at him, puzzled. He shrugged, smiling shyly, and Bella gasped softly as she realised.

"It's you?" she whispered. "Edward Masen? Isn't it?"

He nodded and Bella looked back at the tiny carving. "When?"

"1923."

"Why EM?"

He shrugged again. "Small homage to my life before. I suppose I wanted my human mark left somewhere in the world. And I liked this place; the music has always been good and here I didn't feel quite so much an outcast."

Bella traced the initials again, and Edward noticed the small tremor in her hand that hadn't been there before. Then she opened her bag, rummaged around until she pulled out a nail file and Edward watched on as she awkwardly etched her initials beside his.

"There," she said when she was done, cocking her head as she studied her work. "Now we're immortalized together. Not quite as smooth and neat as yours, but…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because suddenly Edward was kissing her, his hands holding her cheeks, his lips telling her exactly what her handiwork meant to him. But their kiss was interrupted by a waiter asking if they wanted to order anything.

"Are you still hungry?" Edward asked.

"A little."

She nibbled on the best garlic bread she'd ever had, and sipped a white wine while Edward's glass sat untouched, and declared she could sit there and listen all night. But time was getting on and Edward had other plans.

They left the club and wandered slowly across the city. Edward's arm curled protectively around Bella's waist, his heart singing with every step. They strolled along the Champs Elysees, past the Arc de Trimophe, to the Champs de Mars and…

"The Eiffel Tower?" Bella asked.

"Wanna go to the top?"

"It's nearly midnight. The last tour ends at eleven."

"Not for me."

There was a spark in Edward's eye as understanding dawned across Bella's face. "You can't," she whispered, looking around. "That's trespassing. It's illegal. And getting to the elevator, that would mean break and enter."

"I wasn't thinking of using the elevator."

Bella's eyes shot open wide. "No. No no no no no. No way."

"You'd be very safe."

"I know you'd let nothing happen to me, but…" She looked towards the top of the tower. "It's still trespassing. It's against the law. And you're a doctor!"

He leaned in close, his cool breath washing over her skin as he whispered in her ear. "I'm a vampire, Bella." Her heart picked up, and Edward pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "We won't get caught, I promise. And there's something up there I'd like to show you."

A smile tugged at Bella's lips, and she rose up on her toes and kissed him. "Then show me."

He climbed with her on his back, her legs tucked tight around him, arms around his neck. Edward kept careful note of her breathing and heart rate, alert for signs of stress or fatigue, as he expertly scaled the inside of the tower.

"You've done this before, haven't you?" Bella said when they were halfway there.

"Yes," he said. "But not with you."

It took less than a minute for Edward to reach the top and work his way through the security fence to the observation deck. He set Bella down and watched her face light up as she took in the view.

"Oh my…" she whispered. "Edward, this is…I'm speechless…."

Edward stood at the top of the world with the woman he loved, holding her close, with the spectacular City of Lights spread below like it was on display just for them.

And it was there that Edward proposed.

He took Bella's hand and got down on one knee, his heart open and his love shining on his face. He hoped the surprise on Bella's was a good sign. It was soon, he knew that. It was barely 24 hours since they'd found each other again, but he was going with that instinct deep inside him that told him this was right. With a deep, steadying breath, he began.

"Bella, will you…"

"Yes! Oh my God, yes!"

Edward gasped. Bella's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, I didn't let you finish. I'm sorry…"

"No, it's…it's alright…" Shock and joy burned through Edward's veins. She'd said _yes!_

"Please, go on…"

But Edward didn't know if he could. His heart was too full and he was smiling so wide he didn't know if he could talk. But he took a deep breath and tried again to ask the most important question of his long life.

"Bella, will you do me the extraordinary honour of marrying me?"

"Yes," she whispered, smiling just as wide. "I will."

He pressed his lips tenderly, reverently, to her hand, and then he stood up and pulled her into his arms and held her like he'd never let her go. "I'd tell you that I love you, but it doesn't seem enough, by any measure, but right now it's all I've got, so I'll tell you…" His voice broke. "I love you."

Bella nestled into him, like she couldn't get close enough. "I love you too," she said. "So much. And this has been the most amazing day, and night, of my life."

"There'll be more amazing days and nights," Edward whispered. "I promise you."

They stood there, wrapped in each other, taking in the view of Paris at it's best, and savouring.

"You had this planned?" Bella asked.

"For a few hours," Edward answered. "But there's more to come."

"More?" The surprise on Bella's face brought a new smile to Edward's. "What more?"

He pointed into the distance. "About two kilometres away, on the Champs Elysees, is Cartier's Paris store."

"Cartier? The jewellers?"

Edward nodded. "They've opened the store for us."

Bella's jaw dropped. "Just us? At midnight?"

Edward gently stroked his fingers over the third finger of her left hand. "I thought, maybe…" For a moment he wondered if he'd gone too far and this was too much. Suddenly it did seem rather over-the-top, but he had his reasons. "Bella, I know you're not a grand gesture kind of girl," he said. "But in all of eternity, I'm only ever going to do this once, and I wanted it to be…"

Bella put her finger to his lips. "Do you think they have garnets?" She smiled, and now Edward did too.

"I'm sure they do."

She took his hand. "Then lets go."

He kissed her hard, and swung her onto his back, and descended carefully back to earth. With their feet on solid ground again, Bella cuddled into Edward's side and no man had ever felt happier. Or prouder.

"Which way do we go?" Bella asked.

"This way," Edward said.

He turned them towards the Champs Elysees, and with the moon and stars shining bright above them, they began the walk towards their new future.

Together.

THE END

**A/N: So sorry this took so long, thank you for your patience.**

**And yes, I know this ending is probably a bit corny, maybe a little cliché, but my FF proposals are usually subdued quiet affairs and this time Edward wanted to go out with a bang, just for once. A truly grand gesture. So what better than a midnight proposal at the top of the Eiffel Tower followed by a specially arranged trip to Cartier's.**

**Huge hugs and thank you's to everyone who's followed this story, and to those who have left reviews and messages. I have the best readers and appreciate all your support and comments more than you know. Thank you all : ) **

**If you're interested in finding out about my original work, you can find me at suzannecarroll dot com **

**My dear friend Melanie Moreland has just published her second novel. It's called Beneath The Scars and it's a beautiful story of love and hope and second chances. Check it out if you can : )**

**Thanks again, Sue xx**


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